I realize that “Unintentional Grounding” is not a criminal charge. In fact, it isn’t even a penalty in football, which is actually intentional grounding: “when a passer, facing an imminent loss of yardage due to pressure from the defense, throws a forward pass without a realistic chance of completion” [via]. But I’m running out of charges so I have to be creative with the episode titles.

Anyway, in this week’s episode of CSI: Cat Scene Investigation, which actually occurred on the morning we left for Iowa, Hee Seop jumped onto the bed to join me. I went to welcome him, then immediately recoiled when I saw that crap on his cheek you see in the picture above — evidence that poor Angelo unwittingly began to dispose of (click on pic for larger image). Brian and I thought our little culprit turned into one of those cats who likes to eat litter — they exist — Google it if you don’t believe me. But based on his previous offenses, we ran into the kitchen and found this:

Oh, relax. They’re just coffee grounds. Apparently, Hee Seop had to get past the coffee filter in order to get to the real treasure: scraped out, leftover cat food, which we know he never got to because paper towels and other debris weren’t strewn all over the floor. And no, this did not cause his stomach flu. That happened over a week later. *sigh* Will he ever stop?

Somebody does not belong on the counter. Somebody usually doesn’t jump up on the counter. Somebody usually never goes anywhere near the counter. At least not this somebody (Hee Seop and Angelo? all the time). So imagine my surprise and horror when I caught Basil trespassing. What was more surprising is that, unlike the other 2, he wasn’t foraging for crumbs. I mean, look at him, he’s just lying there resting or something. WTF? First time offender.

In the most recent episode of CSI: Cat Scene Investigation, Brian caught Hee Seop red-handed. Or red-pawed, whatever. According to an eyewitness, that noodle was not on the counter when Brian left the room.

It’s been a while since there’s been a CSI: Cat Scene Investigation in our household, but mainly because there are so many episodes that it’s hard to keep track! This week, it appears that one of the kitties aided and abetted some paper towels, a plastic bag, and an empty package of treats from escaping that prison of a garbage can. Based on his previous record, it’s very likely the culprit was Hee Seop.

The latest episode of CSI – Cat Scene Investigation involves murder, yet again. And who knew that sweet, innocent Basil could be guilty of a murder rap? Scroll down to see the crime photo. Click on it to see the rest of the photos, if you can stomach it. This happened while I was in the hospital two weeks ago, so thank God I didn’t witness any of this.

Just replace the word “man” in Cypress Hill‘s, “How I Could Just Kill a Man” with “mouse,” and there you have it. Never heard it before? Well, check it out!

Here’s an excerpt of the lyrics and you’ll see why it’s appropriate:

one time tried to come in my home take my chrome
I said yo it’s on. take cover son or you’re assed out
how do you like my chrome then I watched the rookie pass out
didn’t have to blast him but I did any way, young punk had to pay

© 1991