Well, there were the holidays, and then this depression crap, so I didn’t have a chance to announce that my poem, “Domesticity” was accepted for publication in the Spring 2010 issue of Center: A Journal of the Literary Arts. Of my 2 separate poetry submissions last year, I got an acceptance and what a friend calls the industry standard (read: rejection). It’s true what she says: rejections are pretty much the norm, even for well-established poets, so I’m not really concerned about the rejection.

Personally, I like collecting rejection slips because when I finally do get an acceptance, it’s a sign of how far I’ve come. Of course, poetry editors are subjective, so whether or not your poems are brilliant, an acceptance really boils down to many variables: the editor’s mood the day s/he reads your submission; his/her personal taste; whether or not your work “fits” the type of poetry the journal publishes. That last is the trickiest. It means you really have to read and research where you’re going to submit.

The second bit of news, of which I wasn’t aware until Brian found it on the Interwebs last week is that apparently, in November 2008, I was one of several featured poets in an exhibit Filipina and Filipina-American poets at the…Library of Frickin’ Congress! That’s pretty amazing. Although it’s old news, you can read about it here and here.

Tomorrow is the last day of both NaBloPoMo and the Poetic Asides November Poem-A-Day Chapbook Challenge. Thank fucking goodness. I’m not as concerned with the poetry challenge because they don’t all have to be written by tomorrow. Participants have the entire month of December to revise the poems and then submit it for the chapbook contest (which I’m not doing; I’m planning to take more than a month for revisions). So I have plenty of time to write them and because they offer daily prompts, at least I have ideas.

As for NaBloPoMo, I do have ideas, but I just don’t have the energy to write something that’s fairly well thought-out in just a few minutes and then hit the “Publish” button. If I do this again next year, which I probably will, we will not be doing any traveling during the month of November. On the other hand, if we do have travel plans, I won’t be doing NaBloPoMo. It’s just been way too much for me.

It hasn’t helped that I haven’t had enough sleep/haven’t been sleeping well for the past few weeks. I’m absolutely exhausted today. Again. Each day I’m just that much bitchier and not so gentle with my state of mind. I’m not giving myself any mental breaks, like I remind my friends who do or do not have bipolar to do when they’re going through a rough patch. Why? Because I have these crazy, unrealistically high standards for myself. So, I’m ending this post now in order to try practicing what I preach.

Hard to believe that both NaBloPoMo and the November PAD Challenge are halfway over. So here’s my progress: I’m 15 for 15 on NaBloPoMo, and 8 for 15 on PAD. Not too bad, and who knows? I may get into a zone and write 2 or 3 poems tonight! Overall I’m happy with where I am with both.

The November PAD Chapbook Challenge and NaBloPoMo, that is. Well, sort of but not exactly.

I’ve surprised myself by blogging every single day so far this month and I’d like to keep it up for as long as I can after November. I’m doing my best to complete NaBloPoMo, but it just may not happen since I already have a lot going on this month. For example, Brian and I will be out of town for a week to visit his folks and some friends in Iowa. My therapist told me today that if a few of my blog posts have to be just a sentence long like a Tweet, so be it. Until our next appointment in 2 weeks I’m to concentrate on enjoying myself, the trip — which she reminded me isn’t a working trip — and reconnecting with people we haven’t seen for some time. I shouldn’t obsess about finding places where I can work out; I should take walks with Brian instead.

As for the poetry, I’m definitely behind but for some reason I feel much less pressure keeping up with each day’s writing prompt. I will be happy with having written 30 poems by the end of the month. Sometimes it’s harder for me to write when I’m given a guideline or topic on what to write about, and sometimes it’s easier. My writing process differs when it comes to poetry and blog posts/prose. I can’t define that process exactly, but with poetry I have to let ideas simmer for a while. I guess it’s like that with blogging, but I don’t feel the need to refine my craft when I blog so although I can choose my topics, there’s less pressure as to how I present them.

Although I realize that I won’t be a loser or failure if I complete neither of these ventures, my mind will perceive that irrationally because I still haven’t learned to break down the high expectations I have of myself as well as the perfectionism in everything I do. I get really obsessive about things and I don’t yet have the tools I need to fully absorb what’s rational and discard what’s irrational. But that’s what therapy’s for.

Recently, Disability Alert ™, part of the NJN Network, published my post entitled Disability and Acceptance. It was an honor to have my writing recognized, especially when it’s an issue that’s not only personal but societal. Regular readers (you know who you are!) know that I don’t often address my personal issues in relation to the larger scheme of things because as you also know, I’m still learning to see the forest for the trees in my own backyard woods. But once in a while, I unintentionally write something that…I don’t know…is worthy of a little recognition, because that’s exactly what happened. And for that, I’d like to thank Stephen Pate of the NJN Network. I’d also like to thank the bloggohood regulars, any newcomers, and those just passing through.

To see the Disability Alert ™ version of my post, click here: Disability and Acceptance for Bipolar Disorder