see? i practice what i preach (see Chicago Living Tip #31): i pulled in as closely as possible to the cars in front and behind. Brian wouldn’t have tried to park here. OK, i just wanted to show off the awesome parking job i did because i’m usually horrible at parallel parking.
if you ever take the Metra train to the suburbs there are 2 things you should know about purchasing tickets:
courtesy of Brian, my blogless husband
edit 9:20pm: J has kindly pointed out that the conductors also do not take debit or credit cards.
when parallel parking your car in between 2 other cars, pull up as closely as possible to the one in front or behind you. in other words, don’t take up more space than you need. it may not look like another car could fit there, but trust me, people are going to try to squeeze in anyway.
if you lack the ability to weave through 3 or 4 lanes going in the same direction while maintaining the crawl of traffic–in other words, drive like a cabbie–then do yourself and everyone else a favor by taking public transportation when you’re in the Loop or on Mag Mile. i’m not saying this to be mean. i’m just telling it like it is.
according to the Illinois Rules of the Road, the speed limit in alleys is 15mph. i learned the hard way that this law is actually enforced.
it was the fall of 1990, and i was at a party. don’t know whose, not sure where. i arrived with a group of people in my trusty Ford Fairmont, but my friend Xavier drove and i hadn’t paid attention to where we were going.
a couple of hours later, this guy Mark who i think came with us had to go home, so Xavier and i agreed to give him a ride back to Boystown. Mark sat in the backseat among discarded fast food wrappers and pop cans, drinking beer from a plastic cup. i think i was taking swigs from a bottle of rum stashed in my inside jacket pocket. why else would it have been there? i might have even been on Ecstasy.
the ride was uneventful until we were pulled over because Xavier was speeding down an alley right across from the 23rd district police station. everything would have been fine if Xavier handed the officer his own ID instead of his cousin’s, which he used to get in to the bars. unknown to Xavier, there was a warrant out for his cousin’s arrest.
the cops searched the car because they smelled alcohol but were puzzled that they couldn’t find it. thank God for fast food wrappers. one of us (not sure who) was smart enough to stuff a crumpled paper bag into Mark’s cup to soak up the beer. i was lucky they didn’t detect my rum when they frisked me.
Xavier went to jail. Mark went home. i went back to the party.
to avoid needlessly backed up traffic on major streets, learn to navigate the alleyways. this also gives you the advantage when competing with other drivers for that one open street parking spot, and may be used in conjunction with Chicago Living Tip #23.
EDIT (10:06am): thanks, tom, for reminding me about idiots who speed down alleys. i used to be one–until i got pulled over. that’s right, folks. the CPD will–i repeat, will–pull you over for speeding in an alley. the speed limit is 15mph, though i don’t recall ever seeing any signs in alleys. or maybe i was just driving too fast.
coming soon (maybe even later today!): the circumstances around which i got pulled over speeding down an alley
if you’ve never been to the Museum of Science & Industry, a field trip destination for every school kid in Chicago, then you have to go. it’s not just for kids.
the cool thing about MSI is that they have hands-on exhibits. Brian can never take me anywhere because i’m a toucher. if an exhibit says, "do not touch," i’m going to touch it. i just have to know what the tactile sensation is that makes it forbidden.
my favorite permanent exhibits are the Chick Hatchery and the Anatomical Sections. the last time we were there i had to fight through kids, 5 or 6 deep, to get a good look at the chicks. i so wanted to see an egg hatch, but all i saw were eggs shaking as the chicks prepared to break free. i didn’t realize it takes more than just a few minutes for them to hatch.
the Anatomical Sections are not for the squeamish. let me put it this way: i have a fascination with the inner workings of organisms, human or whatnot. i was exposed to this at a very early age and was "supposed" to be a doctor. but aside from the anatomical aspect, the subjects in the exhibit are from the ’40s, which to me, makes it that much more intriguing. science has come such a long way since then.
the Fairy Castle is amazing in its miniature detail, and believe it or not, i have yet to go inside the Coal Mine, and ride in the U-505 sub. unfortunately, the submarine is currently being restored.
MSI used to have their free days on Thursdays, but they’ve changed their schedule for 2005. and here it is:
Free on Mondays and Tuesdays from January 3 through March 15
Museum of Science and Industry
5700 S. Lake Shore Drive
Chicago, IL 60637
773-684-1414
EDIT (10:55am): MJ has pointed out that visitors don’t actually get to ride in the submarine; you get to walk through it, though. also, it’s supposed to re-open this spring! better stand in line now, because there’s always a line for that exhibit.
one day last week, i swear, the radiators were turned off all day. apparently, ABCD Management doesn’t realize that not all their tenants work during daylight hours (or, um, at all). if the cost of heat is included with the rent, the landlord is required to keep the apartment at a minimum temperature during certain times of the day:
What if I do not get enough heat in the winter?
If your apartment is too cold, you should keep careful records of the temperature of your apartment. Do this three times a day every day. If your landlord is responsible for heating your apartment, and the heat is usually below the City code regulations, they you should notify your landlord in writing that the landlord must bring the heat up to the City’s regulations. The Chicago Housing Code states that between September 15 and June 1 the temperature in your apartment should be at least:
- 65 degrees at 7:30 a.m.
- 68 degrees from 8:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m.
- 63 degrees from 10:30 p.m. to 7:30 a.m.
If your landlord does not respond to your notice you should contact the City’s Heat Hotline at 744-5000, your local community group and a lawyer. Follow the steps described above to give a notice to your landlord and exercise your rights to remedy the problem.
Metropolitan Tenants Organization. "Chicago Tenants Rights Pamphlets (English #3 of 3)." 6 Feb. 2005. <http://tenant.net/Other_Areas/Illinois/mto/english3.html>.
this tip is related to Chicago Living Tip #20. as i mentioned, winter weather and radiator heat can cause more flakes than a snowstorm and stinging cracks to develop on your skin. even worse, it can dry your lips to the point where you might feel self-conscious about making out with that new hook-up. if you’re married, like me, it doesn’t matter, but what attached person doesn’t like to think they can still attract a new hook-up?
after years of searching, i have finally found the bomb of all lip balms. it’s the first time in my entire life that i actually used it all up. it is…Satin Lips? Lip Balm by MaryKay. go ahead and laugh, but let me tell you, the MaryKay of the 21st century is not your mother’s MaryKay.
guys, i guess you’d have to be pretty secure with your manhood to use this stuff. i mean, it comes in pink packaging after all. it’s worth it, though, and women will find it endearing.
now for the shameless plug. order a tube from my sister Lesley’s MaryKay site. mention the bloggo and get 10% off. order online–easier for the out-of-state folks, or call by phone. you won’t regret it. this stuff works.
unless you don’t mind paying $700/mo. for about 450 sq. ft. of space (i.e., a studio apartment), don’t live in Lincoln Park. hell–just don’t live there. it’s the yuppie ghetto.
this tip is courtesy of Brian (my blogless husband)
