Thanks to wonderful ECT, I barely remember what this book is about, so I’ve decided to re-read it.

We’re at our favorite indie coffee shop, and there’s a group of four pretentious hipsters sitting on the couches near us and they’re annoying the fuck out of me. They’re either grad students, or have just finished. One of them has started teaching, though I don’t know if it’s tenure-track or not.

OK, maybe I’m just jealous because I can no longer teach college. Fuck. I can’t teach, period. Just a few days ago, when I actually went to the gym, I had to run back upstairs three times because I kept forgetting something. I used to teach essay- and research-writing and MLA format. I mean, I had that thing memorized! Now, I doubt I could write a research paper to save my fucking life.

As much as ECT has helped me, sometimes it pisses me the fuck off. Actually, I fell into the TRD and was unable to teach then. I think I had to quit in the middle of whatever semester it was, so it isn’t entirely because of the ECT, but it’s only made it worse. Everything has a price, doesn’t it?

I am, however, currently uploading the game pictures from last night, so there will be another game post soon. This past week has just been absolutely horrid, and hockey’s about the only thing keeping me together. And even that sometimes becomes discouraging.

I’m really glad that Brian made it home, albeit later than expected Wednesday night, but at least he made it home that night and not the next day. The storms were really bad in Fort Worth, and he was lucky to even be able to get a flight out.

Besides that, I’ve been feeling nauseous on and off, and my frame of mind is off-kilter, too. I’ve been having trouble concentrating except when I’m on the ice. It’s strange, but it’s the only time and place where I can really focus.

Thanks to Rachel and Danalyn at Weblog Design Studios, I found a great web host who helped me fix up my blog: Blogs About. Many thanks to both Lisa and Chris, especially Lisa, for putting up with all of my questions and helping me get this new WP 2.1.2 straightened out. I’m sad that my old template isn’t quite ready for this version yet, and I still have many image and other things to fix, but I’ll deal. Oh, yeah — Lisa designed the one I’m currently using and a whole bunch more available for download at the WordPress site. She’s also a designer at E. Webscapes and is writing the new WordPress for Dummies — she comes highly recommended!

It’s been a tough last week or so: blog problems; Internet problems; PC problems, which is why I now have this new laptop with the built-in webcam. If you’re lucky, maybe you’ll get to see Hopper’s butt.

Brian’s been traveling for work since Monday and his flight’s been delayed tonight; he may not be home ’til tomorrow afternoon because of the weather. My pdoc assured me that it’s a good opportunity for me to start regaining my autonomy, except that all sorts of shit happened. On Monday, I was on my way to the gym before my pdoc appointment and got into a fender bender — minor, not a big deal, everyone’s fine. I forced myself to drive to the health club anyway and the pdoc’s office said it was OK if I was late.

Later that night, the living room fuse blew, and I had no idea where the fusebox is located, plus I never go into the basement because I’m a huge scaredy-cat when it comes to basements. All I can think of is Blair Witch. I didn’t think I could, but Brian walked me through it, even though our calls kept getting dropped. I think I managed the strength to do that because I had to feed the cats, and do chores and stuff, and because my blog and Web access were still fucked up, all I wanted to do was sit in the living room and read.

For the most part, I’m fine, but there are all of these little things that keep adding up and turning me into a huge basket case. It is my goal to regain autonomy, but not like this. I’ve jumped into doing all sorts of things in the past when I’ve felt better after an ECT, and I always end up crashing.

I went out to dinner with a friend last night, so that was a very welcome distraction. I hadn’t seen her in a while, and we had a lot of fun. But I should have just gone to bed when I got home. Oh, well.

So now, not only is my WP fucked up, we didn’t have Internet for like, two days! How nice of Comcast to let their customers know that we need to swap out our old modems for a new one. Did that yesterday only to find out that our CD drive is broken!

Had ECT Monday, that went fine, I suppose. Was supposed to have the butt test yesterday, but there was some misunderstanding and all I got was a regular old butt exam. Now we have to reschedule an entire battery of butt tests that’ll be done in the hospital. Oh, joy.

Still working on last week’s Turtles game post. All of the pictures are on our desktop hard drive of course (oh yeah, I couldn’t stand this shit anymore, so I went out and got a laptop), so we have to download those onto one of the new-fangled stick-type disk thingies, and then re-upload them to this hard drive so I can upload them to Flickr. Argh.