Opening the Blinds

My last pdoc appointment was 2 weeks ago. Thankfully, he didn’t mention ECT; instead, he put me on Pristiq, which he described as something like a purer form of Effexor though I’m not entirely sure what he meant. Effexor has worked really well for me in the past, so we decided to give this a try. Because I’d been feeling tired a lot, he decreased my nightly dose of Klonopin from 2mg. to 1mg.

Pristiq’s side effects, according to their site, include “dizziness, sweating, constipation, and decreased appetite.” I experienced all but the sweating. I also had others: nausea, extreme fatigue, dehydration, weakness (but that could be from the dehydration); I saw stars; I felt faint. I could barely get out of bed, and one day I didn’t get out of bed at all except to grab something to eat from the fridge and go to the bathroom. I felt awful. The pdoc told me to stick it out. So I did.

Yesterday was the first day I felt better. Today I feel even better. With some experimentation, I discovered that drinking coffee, especially in the afternoon, makes me see stars and feel faint. So no more afternoon lattes.

It’s been over 3 weeks since I’ve showered, which is a record for me. Good think I didn’t experience the sweating side effect. Haha! But I wash a bit in the tub every day and although I wore the same jammies for a week, at least I had clean underwear every day. Now I’m actually using face wipes and putting on my contacts, so that’s something. I’m determined to wash my hair and shower this weekend. (I only ever wash my hair once a week because it’s dry and curly, but I condition it every day.)

It helps that I’ve lost 8 lbs. in the past month, which means that I can actually wear stuff besides yoga pants, sweats, and pajamas because they have elastic waistbands. Of course, I did give up chocolate for Lent, we’ve been eating fewer carbs at night, Brian’s been practicing portion control, and we’re down to getting take-out twice a week at most. My appetite’s improved, but I’m trying to stop eating when I feel full.

Brian has work dinners tonight and tomorrow so I’m on my own. I’ll be scooping poop and feeding the cats and giving them their meds, which became his chores several years ago. Although I’d prefer to have Brian’s company, he’ll be out of town 2 nights next week, so this will be something of a dry run.

I’m doing my best not to be cynical and think the Pristiq will run its course. I’m enjoying each good day that I have. This morning I opened the living room blinds for the first time in almost a year.