For the past half hour I’ve been on the verge of tears for absolutely no reason. There are really only 2 explanations: PMS or depression. I’m thinking it’s the latter. Well, or maybe the 8″ – 12″ inches of snow we’re expecting! *wah*
I’ve been using EMSAM for 5 days now, which, it turns out, is 1 day longer than I used it in the past. Or if I used it longer, I didn’t see any posts written about it because I ended up having ECT again — and get this — although I was depressed at the time, I was doing TONS better than I’m doing now! I mean, I was still playing hockey! This was almost exactly 3 years ago. I had trouble writing blog posts, so Brian kept readers apprised of what was happening, but besides that, I was doing quite a bit better.
That doesn’t bode well. Part of me wants to go ahead and have ECT so I can feel better NOW. But I’m finally regaining my short-term memory and can actually remember things, like movies I’ve seen and books I’ve read recently; it isn’t like once I’ve seen or read them, I’ve pretty much forgotten what they were about. It’s a huge trade-off.
In other news, I’m still in therapy twice a week. I had my ankle MRI yesterday and the results will be in tomorrow. Part of me hopes they find something wrong so they can actually fix it instead of guessing at treatments. Gah.
This time of year is just awful, you can get through it. I hope you feel better soon.
Robin´s last blog ..The Childfree Clan
Me, too!
Hopefully the Emsam will kick in soon. I take Eldepryl, which is another MAOI in pill form, and it took about two weeks for it to start to kick in. I still break into tears regularly, but at least the depression doesn’t have a strangle hold on me constantly. I do get moments where I can breathe.
Sid´s last blog ..Not looking for your approval
I’ve never been on an oral MAOI. It works OK, then?
I hope the emsam helps – and soon. ECT made me better than I’ve ever been, but only for a few weeks. The memory problems have been so severe that I don’t think I’d have ECT again (it was suggested to me just a few days ago). But I know what you mean………it felt so good to feel so good (I think I’d do almost anything to feel like that again).
You know the drill – give the Emsam a chance and then make a decision about ECT.
Good luck!
Michelle´s last blog ..* point 1
I had the same experience you did with ECT. I ended up being on maintenance ECT (once every 4 – 6) weeks and that helped a lot. But not with the memory thing.
Did the maintenance ECTs have as much effect on your memory as the initial course did?
Michelle´s last blog ..Walking away.
No, it didn’t — just on the short-term. The initial course(s) of ECT affected both long- and short-term, but in between maintenance sessions the short-term would improve — until, of course, the next session.
Please tell me I’m not going to get that snow too. We’ve already had too much!
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. But, I know you’re a strong person and I honestly believe you are going to get through this and one day you’ll be able to do the things you love (like playing hockey) again.
Well, if you’re going to get the snow, you’ve probably alread had it by now — I hope you didn’t.
At least the City has actually plowed right away, including the side streets.
I want to play again so badly. I’d like to go back to martial arts, too. I try to hold onto those hopes.