About That Fitness Class

Brian took a long lunch to drive me to the first session of my fitness class last week. Several times during the lecture portion I nearly burst into tears and started hyperventilating, manifestations of panic attacks for me. Luckily, closing my eyes and taking deep breaths prevented them. It was tough, though.

I had a feeling I’d be the youngest one in the class and I was. I also had a feeling I’d be the healthiest and I probably am, since some of the other members are there on doctors’ orders. By no means am I healthy, though. For almost a year all I’ve really done is move from the bed to my desk to the couch sometimes back to bed and almost always back to my desk. This past summer I did pretty well getting out of the house, but that was the exception rather than the norm.

Maybe because it was the first day of class, but it was more lecture than workout. Last week’s topic was balance and how your abs are basically key to having good balance, which I don’t have, really. I know, it’s weird considering I play hockey, but as the instructor said, lots of things can change your gait, like injuries. Goaltending has caused me to have trouble aligning my hips in yoga because even though I used to be able to do the splits on ice, my hips weren’t straight — they faced whatever direction the puck was in.

Anyway, the “workout” portion consisted of the instructor’s aide demonstrating floor/mat abs exercises; then we split into groups and were shown 3 different abs machines and how to use them. That was pretty helpful because any abs work I’ve done in the past was mat work.

So I thought this thing was only once a week. I was wrong. I had no idea we’d have homework, or “labs” as they like to call it. This week, it consists of taking at least one of a list of classes that help build core strength and working out on 3 of the abs machines. There are exercises you can do at home for extra credit, too. Here’s my problem: Brian drove me to that first class last week, and I should be able to drive myself to the gym once a week. But now it turns out I have to be there more often.

Aside from my whole driving issue, there’s the IBS issue because the classes are at times when I haven’t used the bathroom yet, or when I’m not even sure if I’ll need to go that day. Granted, you don’t have to complete the labs the week it’s assigned, but as the instructor said, if you wait until the last week, you’ll have a lot of catching up to do.

If you complete the class, which I assume means attending each session and doing the homework, you get a coupon book of perks and who knows what else. Brian reminded me that I’m not there for discounts nor is this for class credit. I’m trying to lower the unrealistically high expectations I have of myself, but going more than once a week to do the labs isn’t an expectation I’ve set for myself — it’s part of the class. There’s a part of me that wants to take this casually, but there’s also that competitive part of me that wants to complete everything — not even exceed the expectations, just meet them.

Taking this class was supposed to be a good thing, but right now I just feel inadequate. And I hate that the IBS is not something I can control.