Thirty-Three Percent Complete

The November PAD Chapbook Challenge and NaBloPoMo, that is. Well, sort of but not exactly.

I’ve surprised myself by blogging every single day so far this month and I’d like to keep it up for as long as I can after November. I’m doing my best to complete NaBloPoMo, but it just may not happen since I already have a lot going on this month. For example, Brian and I will be out of town for a week to visit his folks and some friends in Iowa. My therapist told me today that if a few of my blog posts have to be just a sentence long like a Tweet, so be it. Until our next appointment in 2 weeks I’m to concentrate on enjoying myself, the trip — which she reminded me isn’t a working trip — and reconnecting with people we haven’t seen for some time. I shouldn’t obsess about finding places where I can work out; I should take walks with Brian instead.

As for the poetry, I’m definitely behind but for some reason I feel much less pressure keeping up with each day’s writing prompt. I will be happy with having written 30 poems by the end of the month. Sometimes it’s harder for me to write when I’m given a guideline or topic on what to write about, and sometimes it’s easier. My writing process differs when it comes to poetry and blog posts/prose. I can’t define that process exactly, but with poetry I have to let ideas simmer for a while. I guess it’s like that with blogging, but I don’t feel the need to refine my craft when I blog so although I can choose my topics, there’s less pressure as to how I present them.

Although I realize that I won’t be a loser or failure if I complete neither of these ventures, my mind will perceive that irrationally because I still haven’t learned to break down the high expectations I have of myself as well as the perfectionism in everything I do. I get really obsessive about things and I don’t yet have the tools I need to fully absorb what’s rational and discard what’s irrational. But that’s what therapy’s for.