For someone who has pretty bad anxiety, to the point where you’re almost agoraphobic, this is a good thing to do. Still, just the thought of doing one scary thing a day causes me anxiety. My heart starts racing a little and my mind starts racing a lot, trying to think of different things that would qualify as scary for me.
I’ve been driving on Lake Shore Drive once a week now for 3 or 4 weeks to see my therapist. That was scary the first time I did it. Making the commitment to return to regular therapy was scary, but one I’ve been doing well at. When I first started going I took the El on my own, which was also scary, especially because I haven’t ridden it in years and they’ve remodeled a lot of the stations. Going to the dentist for a few appointments by myself was scary. Anyway, I’ve been doing quite a few scary things in recent months, but not one a day. I guess you have to start somewhere.
Yesterday I did a really scary thing. In fact, it was so scary that I was very close to tears as I drove and nearly had an anxiety attack, even after I arrived. The previous day I made the decision to attend a Stretch class at that gym I visited over the weekend. When yesterday morning came along, I didn’t think I could do it. Then I was afraid I’d be late. Shortly after I got into the car, I realized that I left my cell phone at home, but I knew that if I went back for it I wouldn’t go back out. Several times during the 10-minute drive there, I seriously considered turning around and going home.
I made it in plenty of time and thankfully found a parking space in the lot. The woman who gave us the tour on Saturday was glad to see me. I introduced myself to the instructor, which is what you’re supposed to do when you’re new to a class. I explained to her about my anxiety and she assured me the class would help, which it did. I was a little uncomfortable because it was more crowded than I expected, but I found a space for myself in the back of the room.
The stretching exercises were wonderful, but I admit that my mind was racing the entire time. The class was only 30 minutes and I considered using the treadmill afterwards, but the instructor advised that it’s better to do cardio before stretching. Excellent, I thought. Besides, I figured, I accomplished my goal for the day. I did one scary thing.
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Hi, Barb. That’s wonderful. You’re braver than I am. –Vince
Vince Gotera´s last blog ..My Poetry Reading at the Library of Congress, Monday, 10/26/09
Hey, Vince! I think it’s all relative.
We’ll see how brave I really am next week when we’re out your way — to swine or not to swine? 
Seriously though, I hope everyone’s feeling better.
crazybeanrider´s last blog ..Maybe Emily Rose Had A Chip In Her Brain
Thanks, CBR (I hope you don’t mind if I shorten your name?). Yeah, actually, Lake Shore Drive isn’t so bad, but once I exit at Michigan Avenue, it’s right there where all the big department stores/touristy area is. Tons of taxis and buses and I need to get into the right hand lane soon, but not too soon. That’s so much more stressful. I try to make sure I leave in enough time so if I have to drive around the block I’ll still make it to my appointment.
that’s a good rule to live by (although i don’t know if i could do it every day)! it’s such a freeing feeling after forcing yourself to do something that scares you. congrats! to some people, taking the el or a class at the gym may seem like baby steps, but i completely understand that they’re huge steps forward!!
Thanks for understanding, Heather. I agree that it’s a good thing to keep in mind, but even for people without anxiety it probably isn’t always practical to do a scary thing each day. Sometimes it’s hard to think of things like taking the El and stuff as big for me because I never used to think twice about them. But, I’m at a different place in my life right now so they are definitely big, gigantic steps!
Great job!!!
Robin´s last blog ..Macho Men
Heehee. Thanks!