Being Among Peers

Recently, I admitted my difficulty in accepting that I am on disability because I don’t fit my own personal stereotype of someone who is mentally disabled: that of a person who talks to him/herself, the person you wouldn’t sit next to on the El, the person whose attention you wouldn’t want to draw to yourself. A few people left comments, people who, like me, don’t fit that stereotype. Boo suggested giving group therapy a try where I might meet other people like me.

I gave that serious thought, but decided to attend a DBSA meeting because it’s free. I used to go to DBSA meetings years ago but never liked them because they were large. They were also presentations rather than discussions. Most of the others who went, if I remember correctly, were much older, like in their 60s, though I did meet one person around my age and with whom I still keep in touch.

Last night I went to a meeting held at a different location. I was scared of course, and never would have done it if Brian hadn’t come along. Luckily, the meetings are open to families and friends of people who have mental illness. It was exactly what I needed!

The group was peer-led and there weren’t more than a dozen people there. Many attendees were or are grad students, college grads, or about to return to college. I think I might have been the only one on disability, but that was OK. It was just a great feeling to be able to talk with others about our conditions, what works, what doesn’t, what we have in common, and to learn from each other. Certainly I appreciate all of the support and encouragement I receive online and don’t consider that any less helpful, but there’s something different about being face-to-face with others like yourself — perhaps it’s that you can actually see their smiles or their tears.