On the way to Borders this past Saturday, Brian and I spontaneously — well, OK, I was the one who made the decision — paid a visit to a nearby health club that’s connected/affiliated with a hospital. The facilities are on the same campus.
This health club holds a ton of appeal for me: it’s closer; they focus on the mind and body and overall wellness; if something happens, the hospital’s right there; and most important, the client demographics are much more varied than the already skinny young set of yuppies at our current health club. I didn’t mind working out there when I weighed 112 lbs. In fact, I weighed about as much as I do now when I first started going there, but it’s…I don’t know. I’m so incredibly self-conscious. And I feel horrible that I’ve regained all that weight.
Anyway, this new place is going to start an 8-week long, one-hour program that includes both exercise and discussion about eating properly, eating due to stress, etc. It sounds perfect for me, but it hasn’t started yet.
The place itself meets my standards in terms of cleanliness and the equipment I’d use, and the person who gave us the tour didn’t make me wait for 2 hours like “Brett” (not his real name but close) with the fancy goatee at our current gym. When I finally said something to him, he gave me some lame excuse about not realizing why I was there. Whatever, Brett. Fuck you. And yeah, I really did wait 2 hours. Granted, the woman on Saturday was definitely a salesperson, but she seemed to have my health interests in mind.
I now have 2 free passes to use in the next 30 days. I really wanted to go to the Stretch and Tone class yesterday, a low-key class to get me started up again on increasing my flexibility. I wanted to try out the tai chi class today. I chickened out. I’ve never been to group classes at the gym and always made sure to work out when most people were at work. This class thing though — that means other people and I have horrible social anxiety. I don’t even know how I made it to the few yoga classes I took last year or whenever that was, let alone martial arts.
Brian offered to join for a month so he could accompany me, just to get me started. The problem is, the classes wouldn’t interest him and anyway, they’re during the day while he’s at work. I’m sure he’d join to use the machines, but the reason he goes to our old gym is because they have pick-up basketball. Recently, he’s started working out on our stationary bike that we bought for me a while back, and I’m actually jealous.
Anyway, I’m also looking into Weight Watchers. I’ve spoken to a few people about their experiences with it and both have been positive. I meant to go to the drop-in open house thingy at a nearby location this past weekend, but I chickened out, surprise, surprise. I rationalized this by telling myself that I visited that health club on Saturday; but I really did and that’s a step.
All I know is that I’m tired of looking the way that I do, and I’m definitely tired of the way I look makes me feel. I’ve always been the type of person whose mindset is, “If you don’t like something, quit your bitching and do something about it.” But I can’t. It’s not even that I can’t because I have in the past, but now I’m terrified. Absolutely terrified. And in the meantime, this terror and anxiety has me eating shit that I should be staying the hell away from.
Go ahead and go to those classes that interest you. Trust me when I tell you that you will not be the only self-conscious person there. Find a buddy or two in the back row, and everything will be okay.
You CAN do this, sweetie!
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You’re right — that’s what my Intro Yoga instructor said, too. Thanks for the support.
Awwww…just do something, that is the best you can do. Even if that is just a walk around the block.
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Well…tomorrow I’m planning to go to the Stretch class at the new health club. I know how to stretch, so how bad can it be?
It’s only half an hour long, so I may try getting on the treadmill afterwards.
I used to do kickboxing, kung fu, and tai chi – I’ve no idea how I got the energy for it all back then! I’d love to go back to tai chi but there’s no where round here that does sadly
My advice is give Weight Watchers a go. I lost a stone-and-a-half of the weight I’d been putting on with bipolar. The leader was really understanding – I explained once I’d been going a few weeks that sometimes I’m not well enough to go every week, and she very kindly waived the fee for the weeks I didn’t go (the alternative was that if I missed a meeting I probably wouldn’t have gone again because I couldn’t afford to pay a stack of back-fees!). Anyway, I found it good. Infact I’m doing it at home right now, and I’ve lost half a stone
So go for it.
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I know, I used to play hockey twice a week, sometimes more. I’d love to get back on the ice again, but realistically I know that’ll be a while. I guess I had the energy because of the ECT.
As for where I found the energy and gumption to go to martial arts, I have no idea. I wasn’t even in shape, but I went because it was so much fun. I’m hoping to go back to that, too.
You’re the third person who has responded to me about Weight Watchers, and one of the others is my therapist. Everyone has had positive things to say. That’s great that they understood about sometimes having to miss meetings. I’ll probably give it a try because I certainly need to be re-educated on my heating habits. It may be a little while yet before I go, though.
Hey
Weight Watchers works. Been through it. Just didn’t keep up the lifestyle change that’s needed for permanent longterm loss. But it does work. And the benefit to programmes like that is that you’re able to go through it with other people. It’s much harder doing it alone.
I definitely like the part about not doing it alone. Thanks for your input!