“All-Time Low”

That’s how the pdoc described me when Brian took me to see him this past Monday. The doctor put me back on Wellbutrin, an antidepressant I’ve been on before and worked for a while, anyway. It’s supposed to help decrease my irritability and do something else, but I can’t remember what he said. He increased my Tegretol (mood stabilizer) from 600 mg to 800 mg. I’ve been on even more than that before, but he wants to take it slow. Maybe that’s what’s supposed to decrease my irritability and the Wellbutrin’s supposed to do something else? He also decided that my ECTs should be every four weeks again instead of every six weeks, which was how far apart the last two were.

Although he says this is the least functional he’s ever seen me (since I became his patient in December 1994 or 1995), that this is probably my all-time low according to my chart, in December 2005 I started having trouble with depression — like, during the month of December. However, he’s very optimistic that these changes in meds will have me up and about and playing hockey in like, three weeks. Please. I haven’t done any physical activity since that last game in October — I’d have to train for about two weeks first before I even think about hitting the ice! Anyway…

I know I’ve been worse than I am now. According to my LiveJournal, which is where I started blogging and have yet to import the posts here (some day), I think there was a time a few years ago when I didn’t even shower for like, two weeks! Or maybe it’s that I didn’t leave the apartment for two weeks. Or both. I just don’t want to look up my December posts of the last several years. Certainly not while I’m in this frame of mind. I’d rather look ahead.

Brian will be taking me to see the PCP this Thursday regarding the period stuff. What a frickin’ pain.