Megan, thanks for the hugs. And as hard as that is to accept, yeah, I need a break from hockey. Truthfully, I worry that I’ll lose my place as netminder, though our captain/team manager has assured me that I’ll always have a place on the team. Last night I even had a dream that I was physically OK enough to play in tomorrow’s game that I skated up again! It was kind of depressing to tell you the truth — not the skating up part, but the desperation I exhibited in the dream, of wanting to be on the ice so badly and at almost any cost.

Holli, I don’t know how many of them know yet. Our captain/team manager hasn’t sent out an e-mail to the team, but we have practice tonight, so maybe she’ll break the news then. I do need to practice not beating myself up about this and other things. An acquaintance who also has fibroids told me that she has to be on hormonal therapy! So hopefully, having it removed will help, which means I’ll be able to get myself to my therapist appointments and work on issues such as not beating myself up.

April, I’m not going to lie, either. Since I got back on the ice, hockey has become my life. It’s not like I can hold a job, but I can play hockey. That it’s pretty much been the only thing I’ve been involved in for the past year isn’t necessarily a good thing, however; I realize that. I’d like to get back into metalsmithing and maybe even martial arts. And writing, blogging, reading other’s blogs! Most importantly, I need to let out the feelings I’ve been holding in. Getting back into hockey has been great for me, but I’ve slowly realized that it’s also been at the expense of other things, including my health. Something had to give.

taking care of your whole self is vitally important. and if it means no hockey - for a while - then it means no hockey for a while.