These past couple of weeks I’ve felt really, really weak and totally tired. Part of it is definitely because one or two nights out of the week I don’t sleep at all, in spite of the trazodone. Plus, I had my first maintenance ECT this past Friday.

Well, had I not visited my GE last week I never would have known that I’m anemic! Because he’s affiliated with Swedish Covenant, they faxed him a copy of my bloodwork.

While I was at Swedish Covenant’s E.R., one of the nurses or assistants or something drew several vials of blood from me. I bled out, remember? (If not, read here.) They never bothered to tell the E.R. doc the results of my blood test! Even my PCP, when I saw him recently because of the flu, said it’s been over a year since I had bloodwork done, but no hurry — I can have it done in a month or two. And here, I had it all this time! Or my GE did, anyway. WTF?

Fuck off and die, Swedish Covenant Emergency Room. I don’t care that your newly opened, completely renovated E.R. is gorgeous (note that this link may be dead one day), your fucking staff (except for the doctor and nurse I was lucky to have) is totally fucking incompetent.

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I need a break from playing KotOR. Besides, I think I’ve only played this version once, and of course I was LS. This time I’m totally DS and even named my character Goalie! Mwahahahaha!!!!

This game goes sssssoooooo sssssslllllloooooowwwwwwwllllllyyyy. I also cannot fucking stand Bastila. I’m also tired of playing LS, but I just love Carth too much. Heehee. I’ll go back to it, I’m sure, but right now I’ve decided to play KotOR II and go DS all the way.

It sure seems like it, anyway. I don’t know why I’m so tired, either — I went to the gym around noon, and unfortunately, went up from 119.8 to 122.8. We’ve been eating too much take-out, I think. And rebelling against the GE, eating foods I’m not supposed to.

Actually, I didn’t sleep at all Saturday night, despite the 2 mg. of Klonopin and 100 mg. of trazodone I take every night. Utterly ridiculous. I’m sure that isn’t helping me physically or mentally.

Too, I haven’t been involved in as much physical activity as I was during hockey season; and because I’ve been sick these past few weeks, I haven’t been going to the gym but maybe once a week.

Well, the Spring Mixer starts at the beginning of April, and starting next week I think I’m going to go back to taking martial arts classes.

(click on thumbnail to view album)

For those of you who don’t know the story, Brian and I were married four years ago because my student health insurance was about to run out and I was scheduled for surgery in the near future. Plus, because of the bipolar, I couldn’t go without insurance for very long because then it would become a pre-existing condition. Ironically, all of this happened in March, so we were married on the Ides of March, as we were English majors, after all.

At the time, I was applying for tenure-track positions at universities all over the country. While I did that, I worked as an adjunct (part-time) professor at maybe six different community colleges and universities? But that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, we already knew we would get married some day, but we didn’t expect it to be when it happened; we only had about a week to decide, which is why the rest of our families weren’t there. You can see my sister, who actually made my bouquet and her now-husband in the background. My mother was the photographer, and part of why I so hated this occasion was because when she would take pictures, she would actually tell me how to hold the bouquet! There’s one picture that I can’t find — she took us out to lunch afterwards and asked the waitress to take our picture. However, the way we were seated looked like it was either Mother’s Day or my mom’s birthday.

Needless to say, it wasn’t the type of wedding I imagined we would have — that’s why I call it a civil ceremony because to me, it was not a wedding. Not that I knew what we would have planned, but certainly not this. Well, obviously I would have wanted a dress and I would have really liked to have a traditional Filipino wedding with the men wearing Barong Tagalogs instead of tuxes.

I have to admit that this whole thing has made me “not do weddings.” That is, I avoid them like the plague, no matter whose it is. I didn’t even go to my own sister’s (Filipino) wedding, but she understood. Anyway, it was in Las Vegas, where our family lives, and we couldn’t afford to go. Plus, I was in the hospital.

After she and her husband came back from their honeymoon, Brian and I took them out to dinner. I asked something, can’t remember what now, but they both agreed that they would have preferred something much simpler — maybe even something like our civil ceremony. And if I thought my mom was bad when we got married. Heh. She was way worse at my sister’s.