i know that at the end of my last post i said that i’m really pissed at my mom right now and that maybe i’d post about it today. well, i received an e-mail from her this morning, which i totally didn’t expect, and i’m not sure how to deal with it just yet. so i’m going to wait a little while and not do anything irrational.
in the meantime, i had a really good workout this morning. i plan to go to the studio to work on my jewelry projects for a while, and then take it easy the rest of the afternoon. i’ve got hockey practice tonight. my new meds are still taking a while to settle in, but since i get so weird and belligerent at night–to the point of banishing Brian to sleeping on the couch–maybe being on the ice will help calm me down.
something i haven’t mentioned because it’s embarrassing is that i’ve been having this “soiling” problem for the past couple of months now–not urine, either–it’s poop! i’m not completely shitting my pants, but i do have accidents. like the other day, all i did was bend over to get some socks out of my bottom dresser drawer, and i had a slight accident. some days are worse than others, like when i feel that i have to go, but then the urge becomes so overwhelming that i barely make it to the bathroom in time.
needless to say, this has not helped my anxiety. i’ve been too scared to go anywhere for fear of having an accident. and, catastrophizer that i am, i was completely convinced that i would need to start wearing Depends. Jesus Christ, i know i’m getting older, but i’m 37, not 87!
i finally saw the family doc last week, who prescribed some Detrol, which is actually for overactive bladders, but he said that it might help tighten my sphincter, colon or whatever, too. it’s been working OK, but now i’m like constipated! even when i feel like going, nothing comes out! the cats pass bigger logs than i do! i even had oatmeal this morning, which usually flushes me right out, but nope. not yet, anyway.
we’ve been trying to get in touch with this gastroenterologist, but we keep playing phone tag, and he doesn’t leave his stupid phone number so we have to wait for him to call back. what’s up with that???
Taking the time to take a deep breath and consider your options is a sign of being on the right track.
Really.
Holy crap! (heh..sorry, I had to be totally inappropriate)
Seriously, the doctors should be able to help with the poop stuff with medication or at least suggest exercise that will help “hold it in.” G’luck!
KG, holy crap, Batman! get this–now the problem is that nothing will come out! i even stopped taking those damn pills that’s supposed to control your nether regions! argh!!!
Oh my Gawd Barb, have we GOT to talk! Trust me, you are not alone! (shhhhh)