Written Earlier Today

i started writing this post at 5:25pm today, because lately, i’ve found that writing out posts longhand first helps to organize my thoughts. anyway…we’re at one of our favorite coffee shops, and i’m trying to write a review for The Black Dahlia movie.

my thoughts are racing incredibly. maybe i’m hypomanic. maybe it’s the Seroquel. or the Klonopin. or the Ativan. or that i have my period. or all of the above.

i’ve been spending all sorts of money we don’t really have (sort of), most recently on an actual, decent goalie helmet. i had been wearing a regular skater’s helmet, which is completely different from a goalie mask, and it was too tight–pinching my temples and cutting off my circulation. (could that lead to an anxiety attack?) the new helmet is all black as you can see in the pic. i would love to have the chin part painted just like Darth Vader’s mouthpiece. and how cool would it be if my teammates’ helmets were painted like stormtrooper helmets? the Imperial Death March tune could play while, donning a flowing black cape, i led the team onto the ice, thrust out an arm towards our opponents, and bellowed, “Find them!!!!” i know, i know. wishful thinking. still, it would be pretty fucking intimidating and cool as all hell.

this new helmet sets us back a couple hundred dollars. back in April or May i bought a new regular skater helmet, thinking i’d just play wing again, but something changed my mind. the Goalie God whispered in my ear, saying, “you must go to Dagobah.” heh. besides, i’d probably get a mere pittance if i sold my goalie gear to Play It Again Sports or something. also, i saw the goalies that were playing during the Tigers Spring Mixer and determined that i’m not that much worse. i’m just out of practice. out of practice, and my skates need to be broken in again. my goalie skates, that is. so do my pads and catch glove, to be perfectly honest.

now i have to postpone my haircut that’s scheduled for Tuesday, which i had already reschedued from Saturday because i was too hysterical to go. i was completely freaking out, probably still trying to get used to the new meds. also, i cut again but did not go to the hospital. like, what the fuck would they have done, anyway? give me more Ativan?