FellowBPer, thank you for writing. although i was diagnosed in ’94, there are still times, like now, when i find it very hard to accept that i have bipolar, but i think it’s normal to feel that way sometimes.

one of the things that makes it difficult to accept is the stigma that’s still associated with mental illness, though society has come a long way since 1994. putting those Zoloft blobs out there helped, i think. :d seriously, though, writing openly about living with bipolar disorder is my way, however small, of fighting that stigma, of letting other BPers know they’re not alone, and for me to remember that i’m not alone, either.

thanks, too, for recommending Recovery, Inc. the Program Coordinator at IOP gave me their number to call, but it’s always good to hear from someone who’s actually tried it. i’ll contact them.

by the way, pantheranon is my husband. heehee.

that’s really not fair to yourself; and, in some ways, it’s like your using both your own problems and other people’s problems to make yourself feel worse. as long as your mental illness and its effects make you feel bad, you belong at the ssa (if you choose to go there); once your mental illness and its effects stop making you feel bad–once you can look at the other people in the ssa and feel bad for them–just feel bad for them, and not about yourself (because of the insignificance of your problems)–then that will mean you’re probably doing better, and maybe don’t need to go there (or should go there as a tutor/graduate, not a participant).

does that make sense? i guess the point i’m trying to make is that your sense of not belonging–and the fact that you’re criticizing yourself over it–is actually evidence of the fact that the ssa could (and will) help you out; and that the “problem” is with the other participants making judgments about you, because of your appearance, rather than your challenges (which they don’t know about yet).

ok, i’ll get off my soapbox now. hang in there! love!