Cat Scene Investigation is a popular game in our household, even though Brian and I are unwilling participants. The rules are simple: the cats do something, and we have to figure out whose it is, what it is, and/or where it occurred.
Whose Puke Is It is easy to solve. The puke belongs to whoever isn’t sniffing or eating it. Sometimes, the perpetrator gives him/herself away by trying to bury the evidence.
What Is It goes hand in hand with Whose Puke Is It. It’s important to know what your cats are coughing up as an indication of their health. Most of the time it’s only a hairball or scarf and barf (from eating kibbles too fast).
Where Is It is like this: when Brian and I are still asleep and the cats want their breakfast, Hopper or Basil will deliberately start coughing in an effort to make us get up. On occasion, they cough up for real — the splatter against a wood floor seems to echo in the early morning hours. Then, it’s time to look for the evidence and hope you don’t step in it.
An even worse variation of Where Is It is when Hopper shits out of the box. Trace evidence is easiest to find when it’s still fresh because the odor hits you so hard it’s like walking into a wall. However, there have been times when the crime was perpetrated long before it was detected and the only lead you have is a faint odor coming from…somewhere, and not from the location of the litter boxes. This is the worst. One time, I could smell the scent all day, but no matter how hard or where I looked, I couldn’t find it. You can read the case file here. Since Hopper is the only one who does that, at least we’re spared from having to play Whose Poop Is It.
The evidence never lies. 
this was hilarious–great post
loved it. LOVED IT. I wish so much I’da thoughta it first!!!
There’s also the game of serving as construction supervisor when you are trying to put together a piece of furniture or hang a picture or pot a plant, etc.
My dogs are way worse than my cats. The only time baby (the cat) will go to the bathroom out of the litterbox is when it is dirty. I guess it’s because cat’s like things clean. She throws up hairballs every now and then though.
My little puppy Andy loves to go poop on the floor. He will go pee on his pad though. I am just so tired of trying to teach him. I don’t know what else to do. I have researched online and everything.
3T sent me over to say hi and lemme tell ya what girl–your blog is being put on my roll as I type because I sure do like your style!
Hi, 3T sent me over. Fun place and I will check out Listel for sure. Thanks for tht tip.
I love cats. They are the coolest But I am highly allergic. So I can’t live with them. Your description also reminds me of the down side of owning pets. But somebody has to do it to keep people like me amused. Thanks!
*laughing* you know, i only have one cat.. and i’m pretty lucky. ernest rarely throws up and rarely ever shits out of the box. but the game i have to play with him is “where did you hide mommy’s favorite pen?” or “where in hell did you sneak the remote off to?” or ..the best one: “where did you drag mommy’s dirty underwear to?”
Sheesh, we play that game entirely too much at our house. Two weeks ago, with the advice of Miss Sparkles doctor, we decided to put her food on a cookie sheet, highly seperated, because she is a gluton, and that way, she has to work at her food and eat it slowly instead of doing what she normally does . . . eat it real fast and puke her guts out.
I have two cats. Only one of them plays scarf and barf. The second cat looks at the first and thinks something like, “What the hell’s the matter with you?”
Strangely enough, one of our cats just coughed up the largest hariball I’d ever seen in my life.
Why do I have animals that poop and puke in my house?
Oh, right. Cat’s are otherwise pretty cool.
“CSI” = excellent! “scarf and barf” = also excellent. Hilarious post, and I could totally relate…
ROFL! My friend Laura has two cats and every once in a while I will hear her walk into her house(I am on her cell) and scream “Ok, which one of you did this???? speak up! SPEAK UP!”.
3T sent me. I’ve only got the one cat, Rufus, and he’s good at not doing any of those. What he does do is pull out clumps of hair and make artistic designs all over the house with them. I don’t know how he keeps from being bald but nooooo he has a full shiney coat of fur.
oh, yes. these 4 have more than just the CSI game, believe me. let’s see, there’s Who Ate Mommy’s Flowers? Who Knocked Down Mommy’s LEGOs? Who Scratched Hopper? or just plain, old Who Did This???
ROFLMAO. I know EXACTLY where you are coming from! Haha!! We just played that game last night. Lovely that she did it on my dresser. Nice. Damn bulimic cat.
More reasons why I dislike cats. Unfortunately, cats seem to like me, – but not for long. One look is generally all it takes!
Oh, the puking thing is so nasty? Do they all do this? Mine do it all the time but they eat their own. Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m talking about this. Yuck.
KG, that’s exactly what I say about Hopper–that she’s bulimic.
Mark, did you know that if you want to avoid cats, you should make eye contact? It sort of tells them to back down. On the other hand, if you pretend to ignore them, they will be all over you. Contradictory creatures, that they are.
T, you’re talking about it because you know what i mean!
they don’t actually puke all the time, and it isn’t all of them, just Hopper and Basil. however, the 3 boys are total scavengers and will eat whatever is on the floor unless it’s their own puke. Hopper’s too ladylike for that. 
hee!
Damn my cat does the scarf and barf all the time. Last time he barf like in the middle of my goddamn bed. Little freakshow.
That was a really cute post.