Off
i’ve felt really “off” these past few days, and i can’t put my finger on it. it’s anxiety of some sort, that’s for sure, probably based on the whole sleep thing, and going to therapy. i’ve decided to take a break from therapy until the sleep issues are resolved. i can’t stand going to so many doctors/healthcare providers all the time.
that’s why i blew off seeing the ENT for so long. i guess it’s a good thing that i finally saw him because he caught my sleep problems, which is probably a big part of my depression. who wouldn’t be depressed if they didn’t get enough sleep? for years? i always thought the dark circles under my eyes were just part of how i look.
i feel bored and…empty. not spiritualy empty, just emotionally empty. i’m not sure how to describe it. maybe this is the “flat” feeling i’ve read other bipolars describe on their blogs? whatever it is, i don’t like it.
i’m looking forward to the new week.
Bipolar/Anxiety/BPD
so do you have to wear cpap or a dental device?
February 19, 2006 10:27 pm
Sleep is listed as one of the great bipolar triggers… I’m guessing that any sleep issue only compounds it.
Like you, I totally only want to see one or two doctors at a time. More than that and I don’t know whether I’m coming or going!
February 19, 2006 11:24 pm
I think that anxious restless feeling seems to be hitting everyone these days…
February 19, 2006 11:36 pm
I’ve been feeling down myself, with lots of anxiety. Must be something in the air.
February 20, 2006 12:42 am
Sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Jane wnet through something similar recently, I think. I hope it doesn’t last too long, and that you can get back to some sort of normality.
Thinking of you.
February 20, 2006 12:41 pm
One of the hardest things about going to therapy is that it reminds one that they are not “normal”, and that they need to alleviate themselves of what is essentially inside themselves, part of who they are, and extract.
I think the reason why you feel empty a lot, is because when you go to therapy, there is a lot of extraction; that is, therapists extract who you are, and then try to “fix” you. You cannot help but feel empty . . . hell, with all the extractions that have taken place the past month, it’s no wonder you feel the way you do.
February 20, 2006 3:10 pm
I have always had problems with sleeping and I know it is due to stress.
Maybe you need a relaxing vacation???
February 20, 2006 4:53 pm
I hate when I feel a certain way but I can’t figure out what exactly it is. I also have a hard time explaining exactly how I feel to my doctor. Until recently I didn’t even know I was experiencing anxiety. I learn a lot of stuff from reading your blog though.
I hope your unknown feeling passes soon.
February 20, 2006 8:12 pm
I had a bad case of flat these past few days but I dropped one of my lithium (with the blessing of my psychiatrist) and felt better. Whatever is causing yours, just plug along. Recover.
February 20, 2006 8:27 pm
I can tell you that after just one week on my own CPAP, I’m already feeling the difference. Pretty amazing!
February 21, 2006 10:12 am
I hope your feeling more “on” soon, Barb. I love reading your blog. You have a talent with words.
February 21, 2006 11:32 am
I know the feeling. Sleep issues, when undiagnosed can cause so many other issues. I was so depressed for a while, and I thought I’d never get out of that funk. Found out about my sleeping issue and Im doing so much better!
Who knows what you’ve got in terms of sleeping issues, but once they figure out u can work on readjusting yourself and you’ll be so much happier because of it! Godspeed!
February 21, 2006 7:19 pm
i’ve always sort of taken sleep for granted–never realized how important it really is for our well-being.
February 21, 2006 8:43 pm
a fellow chicagoian! yay!
i know the feeling of being flat and i can’t stand it either. it’s almost numbing - not necessarily a low .. it’s almost like you could describe your mood as “nothing”. i’ve found that when i’m flat, my body is screaming for rest in order to give my mind that extra boost. who knows, maybe you’re in that same boat. you’ll work through it, your mind with strengthen..and eventually the flatness will fall to the wayside and you’ll be 3-D again.
February 21, 2006 11:05 pm
I read somewhere that sleep is really intended to allow the brain to rest, not really so much for the body. I thought that was interesting. Like, the body could keep going all day/all night forever, but the brain can’t.
February 22, 2006 11:52 am
i’ve had dreams in the past–really stressful ones in which i’m in bizarre, anxiety-ridden situations. when i wake up, it feels like i haven’t slept at all.
February 23, 2006 12:18 am