PDA stands for public display of affection. PDAA is short for public display of an anxiety attack. as far as i know, this has only happened to me once, maybe 10 years ago. yesterday was the second time.

i made myself go to my ENT appointment, the one i’ve mentioned several times this month and have been putting off. actually, i’ve been blowing it off for six months, maybe more. i know i said recently that if i can name my fear, it’s a lot easier to get over it. here’s my fear about the ENT: i was afraid that once they took a look at my CT scans (that i had done back in, um, July), they would tell me that once again, i would need sinus surgery.

here’s a tip, kids: don’t do coke! i’ve had 3 or 4 sinus surgeries–i can’t even remember how many. i’m lucky that i still have a nose, unlike the Pooh Bear character Vincent D’Onofrio played in The Salton Sea:

me, Jan. 06 (the quality sucks, i know)	Pooh Bear

there’s no way i’m going through another sinus surgery. i don’t care if i have constant sniffles and painful sinus headaches; i like my nose. more importantly, i don’t want a prosthetic nose like Pooh Bear’s. of course i’d never know what the ENT has in store for me until i actually went to the appointment.

normally, my anxiety level is high, and lately it’s been even higher. the thought of facing the ENT made it worse. i so didn’t want go, but i also wanted to get it over with.

i made it to my appointment in time. when i mentioned that i didn’t know if they had my correct insurance information, the receptionist said i may have to fill out paperwork because they couldn’t find my chart. couldn’t find my chart–what the fuck? besides, i didn’t want to fill out paperwork. i just wanted to sit in the waiting room and stare at the fish tank.

instead, the hot flashes started. i couldn’t keep my hands still, so i clawed at the knees of my corduroys. i fought off the hyperventilating, but the tears came. i tried to hide them. the waiting area wasn’t packed, but there were people sitting across from me, and i was sure they were staring. then the nausea kicked in. i realized i wouldn’t be able to drive myself home. i called Brian and asked him to meet me at the doctor’s office, which he did, so he could take me home himself.

there was no mention of sinus surgery. instead, i have to undergo a sleep study to check for sleep apnea. Jesus H. Christ. a sleep study? this is far from over.

although i received many great bids this week, i chose Kentucky Girl, a blog i recently discovered. this, of course, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try again next week!

the first thing you should know about Kentucky Girl is that she grew up in Kentucky and now lives in California. if you ever want to send her a gift (she celebrated her birthday 3 days ago), you’ll never go wrong with lipstick or lipgloss. for those of you cooks out there, she posts the occasional recipe, most of which are “normal,” but then she posts one for Gritty Kitty Litter Cake. eewwww! i’m sure you can Google an image for this. and get this–she won a vacation to Kauai from a radio station. how lucky can a person be? she just posted pictures from her trip, and the landscape is gorgeous. please give her a warm welcome and click on her thumblink!

although i studied classical piano in high school, my absolute favorite keyboard instrument was the harpsichord, and we were lucky enough to have one at school. the harpsichord is similar to the piano, but smaller in size. its tone isn’t as full or rich; rather, it sounds like guitar strings being plucked because that’s exactly how the instrument operates. the notes don’t resonate like a piano’s; they’re short, as if each tone is interrupted by the harpsichordist taking a breath. as a result, the keys feel different when pressed. unlike piano keys, you can almost feel the harpsichord’s hammers plucking each of its strings. the instrument’s sound, as well as the tactile sensation when playing it, was what attracted me to the harpsichord. for anyone interested, i recommend Scott Ross‘s recording of Domenico Scarlatti‘s Complete Keyboard Works.

well, someone took it upon himself to build a harpsichord made completely of LEGO bricks. you can even play it, but it doesn’t sound anywhere as beautiful as a real harpsichord. LEGO does have its limits, after all. you can see the LEGO harpsichord here, as well as listen to a short recording of the builder playing it.

thank you very much to April who sent me the link, and who knows how much of a LEGOmaniac i am! but it doesn’t stop there. she also sent a link to a lifesize Han Solo encased in carbonite, also built entirely with LEGOs–about 10,000 of them! check it out here.

Hopper always has her nose in everything. Always looking over our shoulders. If she had opposible thumbs, she would do everything herself (except clean the litter box), just to make sure it’s done correctly.

KSHIPPYCHIC tagged me with the meme, “Fun with Fours.”

Four Jobs You’ve Had

1. ball bearings salesperson
2. go-go dancer
3. veterinary assistant
4. English professor

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over

1. Star Wars: A New Hope
2. The Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi
4. The Godfather

Four Places You’ve Lived

1. Manila, Philippines
2. Houston, TX
3. Fort Collins, CO
4. Columbus, OH

Four TV Shows You Love to Watch

1. invasion
2. ER
3. CSI (sometimes)
4. Boston Legal (though not so much anymore)

Four Favorite Books

1. Wide Sargasso Sea
2. Crime and Punishment
3. The Great Gatsby
4. Where the Wild Things Are

Four Places You Have Been on Vacation

1. Toronto
2. Orlando
3. New York
4. Las Vegas

Four Websites You Visit Daily

1. Planzo.com
2. Neopets
3. Bloglines
4. my del.icio.us

Four Favorite Foods

1. tiramisu
2. a linguine and mushrooms dish that Brian makes
3. Chicago pizza (in Chicago–imitations will not do)
4. diet Coke

Four Places You’d Rather Be Right Now

1. in bed
2. the sofa
3. the futon
4. Las Vegas

Four Bloggers You’re Tagging

1. Margaret
2. Ratty
3. April
4. Marie