True Story
in the summer of 1989, i lived in Texas and had just completed my first (and what turned out to be my last) 2 semesters at the University of Houston. because i lived in an apartment instead of the dorms, i had difficulty making friends, especially since i was shy. at the end of spring semester, i found a job as an admin at a small telemarketing company. i also moved in with a high school friend who was originally from Houston and had just moved back from Chicago. between these two events, i finally had a circle of friends, and although we were different in very many ways, we had one thing in common: we were big-time stoners.
as a favor for my friend Jim, i agreed to pick up his girlfriend one afternoon in downtown Houston, where she worked at the Enron Building on 1400 Smith. i was nervous because i didn’t know my way around the downtown area, it was rush hour, and i was completely baked. the sunshine reflected from the many glass buildings towering over me only added to my confusion.
i crept around the block of one-way streets looking for Wendy, who was waiting for me in front of the building. a policeman stood on the street, just outside the entrance to a parking garage on my left. as i approached him, he gestured for me to continue forward. or so i thought. well, i did exactly that–kept on going and ended up running into him.
my dad once told me that he didn’t care what i did as long as i didn’t get caught. however, if i ended up in jail, he wasn’t going to bail me out. this was going to be the first time, i was sure. not only was i stoned out of my mind, i hit a cop with my car! and not a cop sitting in a squad car–it was a cop standing on his own two feet on the street!
i was only 19 years old. my life would be ruined. my parents would be disgraced, not only within their Filipino-American community, but within the entire Natividad clan as well. i had been the family black sheep since my pre-teenage years, and now, i had cemented my destiny as the Natividads’ least wanted.
to my relief, the policeman didn’t crumple to the ground. i wasn’t driving fast, maybe 5 miles an hour, probably less. he merely lost his balance. once he regained it, he gestured for me to continue forward, and this time he exaggerated his arm motions, so there was no mistaking what he wanted me to do. he didn’t ask to see my drivers license. he didn’t order me out of the car. he didn’t even say anything to me through my wide-open window as i drove past him.
seconds later, Wendy was sitting beside me. as soon as she shut the door, we rolled away. and i passed her my pipe.
i’ve shared this anecdote for a number of reasons. first, i’ve been kicking around the idea of a new category relating moments from my past so readers can get to know me better. that category is called “Back in the Day.” some of the posts that will fall into this category may be mundane, while others, like this one, are almost difficult to believe.second, i was inspired to share this story after reading an article to which Gladys from The Story of Why provided a link in a recent post. the article, entitled “A Million Little Lies”, was published on January 8, 2006, on The Smoking Gun (TSG), and exposes James Frey, author of the bestselling memoir and Oprah’s Book Club selection, A Million Little Pieces, as a fraudulent writer. TSG states that the book’s turning point is an incident during which Frey, drunk and high on crack, writes that he unintentionally drove onto a sidewalk and hit a foot patrol officer with his car.
this episode, as Frey describes in his memoir, ensues into an altercation involving himself, the patrolman, back-up officers, and 30 people who witnessed the police beating him with billy clubs for refusing arrest. (i’m not going to discuss how or why this event is crucial within the memoir’s structure because that isn’t my point here.) according to the police report TSG located, what actually happened was that Frey drove onto a sidewalk on which there was indeed, a policeman, but nearly hit a pole, not the officer. that incident, the factual or the fictitious version–it doesn’t matter–provided me with the spark to write my own hitting-a-cop-on-foot-with-my-car-while-fucked-up story. i mean, every former substance abuser has one. right?
ironically, i was going to name the “Back in the Day” category “True Stories.”
so, do you really believe i hit a cop with my car while i was fucked up?
Even if you remember you did, did the Mary Jane cloud your memory and make you think you did when maybe you didn’t actually hit him?
Nice.
January 12, 2006 1:32 pm
I remember a friend of mine *almost* hitting a cop standing in the middle of the road stopping cars for the traffic survey people - she was late for work and screeched to a halt about 2 inches away from his feet, rolled down her window and yelled, “What the bloody hell are you doing in the middle of the road you bloody idiot!” at him, lmao, he had a few stern words for her. I was 2 cars behind her in line, equally late and laughing myself half to death
January 12, 2006 2:58 pm
Ya, I can believe it happened. Sounds like something I would do - likely I would be completely sober if I did it. Sorry you had to live in Houston, it sucks there. And I know about driving Downtown in Houston - I rather have all my teeth pulled without gas or Novocain then to ever have to drive there let alone visit again.
So are you pulling our legs with your story? Maybe you should write a book and you don’t even have to travel far to be on Oprah!
January 12, 2006 4:05 pm
I totally believe you hit that cop. What a buzz kill!
What I can’t believe is that he didn’t bust you. All of my past experiences with the Houston PD (and they are numerous, I might add, even though I only lived there for a little over a year way back in the day) but, as I was saying, all my experiences with them have been less than pleasant to put it mildly.
Peace……………..
January 12, 2006 6:16 pm
not only was i stoned out of my mind, i hit a cop with my car! and not a cop sitting in a squad car?it was a cop standing on his own two feet on the street!
Must be a college thing. I hit a lady at 7am while I was stoned out of my fucking mind while at college. The cop came, I was smoking a cigarette, getting fucked up all over again. Can’t believe I wasn’t busted.
January 12, 2006 10:04 pm
I don’t know what else to say but “Wow”. I’ll be back to check out more “Back in the day”…!
January 12, 2006 11:48 pm
I went to Canada on a fishing trip about 5 years ago with my uncle and my cousin. When we went to cross the border, they made us pull over for a random inspection. My uncle and cousin had been smoking dope off and on since we left Ohio and needless to say they were toasted. When my uncle backed the truck up into the parking spot we were directed too, he hit the car parked next to him. The police officers gathered around us quite quickly. If thissituation wasn’t bad enough already, the border patrol people did their search on the vehicle and found that my cousin had 3 different water bongs packed with him and my uncle had a quarter ounce of dope packed in his shaving kit. So, I got deported from Canada and wasn’t allowed back in the country for 2 years after that.
January 13, 2006 6:32 am
Ooooh, I love your idea about tidbits from the past. Wow, you are soooooo lucky the cop just waved you past. Sounds like some adventures I have been on wayyyyyyyyyyy back in the day, lol. Have a great weekend!
January 13, 2006 8:31 am
You were one lucky stoner! ;o) I’m glad no one was hurt and the cop didn’t seem to mind. Looking forward to more ‘Back in the Day’ and learning more about you! :o)
January 13, 2006 9:24 am
Okay, so the entire time I thought you really did hit the car while you were messed up, but I feel it hard to believe that a Texas cop would just let you go like that, but, it could happen. I basically believe you, because anything is possible.
January 13, 2006 11:04 am
Do I believe you? I’d like to say “yes”…however, being a native Houstonian I’m not sure that I can believe it.
On the other hand, I was working in downtown around that same time frame in the NCNB building (known now as the Bank of America Building)and I know how bad traffic could get at certain times so I could see a traffic cop just letting you “pass” if you just bumped him.
So, now I’m waiting to hear the “true” story!! LOL
January 13, 2006 11:54 am
Yep I believe it!
January 14, 2006 12:17 pm
I thought you said you almost hit him, but that he lost his balance. That’s what I read, that’s what I believe. Unless you lie to me, I have no reason to believe otherwise.
I’ve done every drug I know of & drove on my (it was the 70s and I KNOW now it was irresponsible) but NEVER even came close to hitting a cop. I did drive with 2 tires up on the center median though.
January 14, 2006 7:11 pm
i actually did hit him, but not hard enough for him to fall. if he had, i would have really freaked out!
January 15, 2006 2:08 am
[...] didn’t go to martial arts because i was working on True Story, and trying to flex my writing muscles that seem to have atrophied. it isn’t brilliantly narrative, but i was in that writing “zone” and didn’t want to give it up. as a tradeoff, i made myself do some things i’ve been blowing off: i finally made an appointment with the ENT. i was supposed to see him about a year ago. then i had that nasty ear infection over Christmas, but i still procrastinated. now, it’s done; Tuesday’s the day. [...]
January 15, 2006 10:13 pm