i saw the pdoc today. here’s the rundown: my new dosages are 10mg/Ritalin a day (down from 20mg) and 300mg of Wellbutrin (up from 150mg). would it be bad to hope for a hypomanic episode? yeah, i thought so.
he also wants me to keep a journal of my wake-up and bedtimes. i’ve done it in the past, and it really helps to be able to find patterns. he said he needs to know if it’s the meds causing my excessive sleepiness or something else, which apparently, he can deduce from my sleep times. i’m not going to bore everyone by posting my sleep reports on here every day, so i’ll just post them under “have normal sleep hours” in my 43 Things. (if you don’t know what 43 Things is, you need to check it out right now and sign up!) if you’re absolutely dying to know what time i went to bed/woke up, you can look there. 
last time i saw him, he gave me homework that i couldn’t understand, but i finally figured it out the other day. he said he wanted me to come up with some kind of structure to my day and that it didn’t have to be ambitious. that’s all he said. when i tried to ask him what he meant, he just said that i had to come up with it on my own. so fine. here’s what i came up with. as soon as i wake up i will do the following things in the following order and never deviate from them or at least not from the first four items:
- shower
- feed the cats
- clean the litterbox
- take down the trash
- (since i’m already outside, i may as well) go to Starbucks
- check e-mail, read blogs, do my dailies on Neopets
- maybe post something on my blog, or read
- eat lunch
- do any errands (buy cat food, go to Walgreens, go to the post office, etc.)
- read or do computer stuff again
- pick up Brian from work
it sounds really basic, but i need the structure of having things spelled out for me so i’m not wondering, what to do next–which happens a lot–and then end up doing nothing at all. if i have a checklist, excellent. as i’ve learned in the last week, if i don’t get in the shower immediately after i get out of bed, it’s a wonder that i get into the shower at all that day.
i showed the list to my therapist when i saw her yesterday and she said that it’s really good. she also said that no matter what my mood state is when i wake up, i just need to push myself to do these things, and eventually they will become routine. based on past experience, i know that “routine” is good for me. anyway, the pdoc liked the list, too.
Brian said we could make a little chart and put gold stars on them for the things that i did. i would prefer to use red stars.
Sleep habbits really do take a toll on your mood.
Hang in there. 1 day at a time ya know?
That is a pretty good idea. I would like to do something like that. It would be hard for me right now though because I am sleeping off and on.
Your pdoc is good. Mine sucks.
HeHe! Gold stars! (I would like purple ones better) I love making lists, of Everything! I also have a complete obsession with zits of any kind – so if I had a cat – I would now be inspecting it for blackheads! LOL!
This is a pretty solid idea. I know if I don’t have a list in my head of things I need to get done, I wander incessently and then suddenly it’s 2 oclock and I’m wondering where the time has gone.
kristin, funny thing–i just left the comment “one day at a time” on someone’s blog yesterday, and i’m glad you left me the same reminder. it’s so easy for me to forget my own suggestions!
Marie, if you’re sleeping off and on, then it might be even more important to keep track. i’m sleeping off and on in the afternoons and the pdoc wants to know why–like, am i falling asleep during the day because i’m not sleeping enough at night, or if it’s for some other reason.
kshippychic, whoa! do they make purple stars? yeah, purple would be great! i’m also an avid listmaker (whether or not i get to cross things off of them) and zit picker.
dan, that’s what happens to me, too.
Barb, Wellbutrin MESSED me up before I was diagnosed. My primary doc prescribed it to me while I was taking the zoloft (prescribed by pdoc) and it threw me into a suicidal episode. I got out of it as soon as the wellbutrin stopped.
Well Barb, what can I say?! Wordpress has really made things better, has it not? I totally am enjoying watching you work on your blog every couple of days, and adding improvements… so awesome!
As far as the list, I agree with Kristin, every day counts. I think that people like us don’t pat our own backs enough, when in reality we should. I wonder if it’s a woman thing or not.
I like structure, too. Structure and stability are good for me!
Have you noticed a difference with your Welbutrin increase? I just started 150mg a couple of weeks ago and I am coming off of Effexor….not doing too wonderful, but Im makin it.
Maggs and Jil, i’ve been on it for years, so anything that was going to mess me up probably already happened. LOL actually, when i took the double dose the first time, i was incredibly agitated that day. but it also could have been because i got my period. sorry–TMI.
April, thanks for convincing me to switch!
Margaret, i think most people function better that way. my therapist told me that when people without mood disorders have several days off, sometimes they don’t know what to do, what they should do next.
[...] the big picture. i’m not seeing it. obviously, i’ve heard this from her before, but it just doesn’t sink in. in my head, i know what she means, but i can’t feel it in my heart. i feel like i should be doing more, more, more, when what i should really be concentrating on is the daily routine i set up for myself (see here). she said that no matter what my mood state, i have to do the things on those list, and for the most part, i’ve been successful. [...]