the only reason the results were bad was because i fell asleep. (my pdoc got a good laugh when i told him about it; he happens to know my ENT). i had a nasty ear infection over Christmas, and there was still some fluid in my ear so the doctor wanted to check my hearing. he’ll see a remarkable improvement next time i see him! well, if i don’t fall asleep again.
also, you don’t have to raise your hand anymore. i forgot about that part. instead they give you a device about the size of a pen. when you hear the tone, you click the button on top. that’s it!
for anyone who was wondering, and i know there are some of you out there, in order to have your blog transmitted into space, go to Blog in Space and submit your blog. in a few weeks, you, too, will receive a certificate like this one, notifying you that your blog has been transmitted. twice now, for me. see the first transmission here.
i’ve been tagged by Moody, and let me tell you, this has got to stop!!!
3 Names You Answer To
3 Parts of Your Heritage
- Filipino
- Spanish
- that’s it
3 Things That Scare You
- our apartment catching fire while we’re away and the cats are at home
- insects
- not having any direction in my life
3 Everyday Essentials
- cuddling with Brian
- cuddling with the cats
- time to myself
3 Things You’re Wearing
- a gray, long-sleeved Gap t-shirt that’s about 10 years old, size XL
- a red pair of Brian’s gym shorts
- panties (dark gray, if you must know)
3 Favorite Songs (among others, and that i can think of at the moment)
- “Clampdown” by the Clash
- “How Soon Is Now” by the Smiths
- “Eminence Front” by the Who
3 Things About the Opposite Sex that Appeals to You
3 Things You Want in a Relationship
3 Favorite Hobbies
3 Things to Do Before You Die
- travel abroad
- own a home
- have kids
3 Ways You’re Stereotypically Female (or Male)
- i love purses
- i love shoes
- i care too much about the way i look
2 Truths & 1 Lie (no particular order)
- i type 100wpm
- i wear dentures
- i always put my left shoe on first
3 People You’re Tagging
- i’m only tagging one person, and that’s bozette because her blog, LIFE MY WAY, is my current blog tenant!
at the ENT’s office earlier this week, i was subjected to a hearing test. the audiologist fits you with headphones and shuts you in a soundproof booth. a small pane of plexiglass separates you from the audiologist.
there are 2 types of tests. in one, the audiologist recites words and you repeat them. they pump in static through the headphones and turn down the microphone volume lower and lower, and you keep repeating the words if you can hear them.
the second type is similar, except that tones are played through the headphones and you raise your hand when you hear each one. again, the audiologist will eventually pump static through the earphones and increase the static volume while decreasing the volume of the tones.
i only had to do the second one. i’ve done it before, so i knew the routine. usually i close my eyes so i can concentrate to make sure i hear the tones because i hate to fail any sort of test. afterwards, i vaguely remember the audiologist telling the doctor that my results were lower than normal–that i wasn’t hearing the tones that were played at a very low volume.
well, after having an anxiety attack in the waiting room, being told i was to undergo a sleep study, and watching a short video about sleep apnea, i was so exhausted that i kept falling asleep in the booth. i don’t think the audiologist noticed.
today, my blog is the one most likely to be contacted by aliens according to Blog In Space. if you visit their site tomorrow, i’m sure it’ll be someone else’s blog featured, so they gave me this:
yeah, i’m a geek. so what? 
check out this week’s Friday Ark for more pet pics. they publish links to bloggers’ pet photos–dogs, cats, birds, rats, pigs–you name it. it isn’t necessary to post the picture on Friday, but that’s the tradition. all you have to do is leave them a comment or trackback, and place a link back in your post. i know most of you have pets, so come on, already! you know who you are. 
one other symptom of sleep apnea is loud snoring. because Brian was with me at the ENT’s office, he confirmed to the doctor that i do, in fact, snore. our conversation on the way home went something like this:
Me: So, I snore?
Brian: (hesitates) Sometimes.
Me: Loud?
Brian: Not usually.
Me: What do you mean, “not usually”?
Brian: (shrugs) Not usually.
Me: Do I saw logs?
Brian: Not really.
Me: So, sometimes.
Brian: Well…yeah.
Me: Enough to make you leave the room?
Brian: Um, once or twice.
Me: Is that why you sleep in the living room after the alarm goes off?
Brian: No! I really am trying to wake up, then. I only moved to the couch a couple times.
Me: So how loud is it? Can you hear it from the living room?
Brian: A little.
Me: (gasps) As loud as my dad?!
Brian: (hurriedly) No, not as loud as your dad.
Me: Well, OK, as long as it isn’t as loud as my dad.
my dad’s snoring isn’t as loud as one of my uncle’s, who you can hear downstairs even if he’s sleeping upstairs, but it’s still pretty loud. because of job schedules, my dad usually went to bed before my mom so it didn’t bother her. or maybe she just sleeps very soundly. this isn’t, by the way, the reason they’re now divorced. or who knows? maybe it’s part of it.
snoring can present a huge problem in marriages, and i don’t want it to be a problem in mine. some couples actually sleep in separate rooms (see this article). i don’t want to do that!
i’ve been reading a bit about sleep apnea, and it could very well explain my depressive symptoms that have been unresponsive to medication for so long: the lack of energy, sleeping more than i need to, anxiety, and the depression itself. these are all symptoms of sleep apnea. if, in fact, my depression-like symptoms are caused by sleep apnea, then i’m on way more medication than i need to be.
it would explain why my current dose of Wellbutrin (300mg) plus the Ritalin (10mg) is making me so incredibly agitated. last time i saw the pdoc, he recommended that we stick to the current dosages to see if i just need to adjust to them. well, i’m not. i got my next appointment moved up to next Monday.
i don’t feel like myself. i’m high-strung, restless, irritable, easily bored. i have a hard time concentrating, reading nonfiction books. novels are fine because i’m completely sucked into the characters’ worlds–they’re the only things in which i can immerse myself.
i’m having a difficult time finishing tasks. i just get so bored that i stop–or don’t bother starting at all. when i’m restless, i can’t think of anything to do, and whatever anyone suggests just sounds boring or uninteresting, or i just can’t make a decision. it’s become more than anhedonia. it’s like i have a second skin, a peel-off facial mask over my entire body that i have to fight through to do anything. it’s so irritating and uncomfortable, and worse–i can’t peel it off!
yesterday, i told Brian that what i’m feeling is enough to make someone want to kill themselves. i’m not suicidal, but even if i were, i wouldn’t even be able to plan how i’d do it because i can’t make decisions! gah!
all i can do is ride it out ’til Monday.
i got tagged twice for the same meme! bwahahaha–that means i only have to do it once! hmm…but does it mean i have to tag 16 people? nah…
target partner: male
8 qualities of my perfect partner (not necessarily in order)
- honest
- intelligent
- responsible
- emotionally available
- funny
- patient
- loves animals
- remembers to put the toilet seat down
i’m tagging: Margaret, Ratty, April, Cheryl, Beau, Maddie, Mamazilla, and Dariana. in Beau’s and Maddie’s cases, however, they should describe qualities of the perfect owner.
when i sat at my desk this morning, i found that Hopper shit on it. it couldn’t have been because breakfast was late. i woke up earlier than usual, which meant they were fed earlier than usual. one of the boys must have been picking on her.
i grounded her from lounging on the desktop all morning like she likes to do after breakfast. as if that’ll do any good. crazy cats.
