just got back from the pdoc’s a little while ago. i’m glad i went out today, because at all of 25?F, it was nice out! i’m not kidding, either.
anyway, he thought for sure that this lack of energy, lethargy, loss of appetite, etc. had something to do with a thyroid condition, but it doesn’t. although these are all the symptoms of someone suffering from depression, i don’t look depressed, i don’t sound depressed, my smile and laughter are natural. maybe i’ve said this before, but if anyone were to meet me in person, especially for the first time, they would never know. i also don’t feel despondent, suicidal, hopeless, and any of those other symptoms of depression, which is what has him so confuzzled.
it isn’t a matter of will, it’s a matter of not having the energy to execute my will. so, he’s put me on a two-week course of Ritalin, which is more commonly prescribed to kids who have ADD, but has an opposite effect on adults, more like a stimulant. i was taking this stuff last January, too, again for about two weeks, but it made me really irritable. he also brought up Provigil, which is prescribed to narcoleptics. i have another appointment in two weeks, and we’ll discuss things then.
but, he did bring up electroconvulsive therapy, or ECT for short. shock treatment, basically. it’s used as a last resort when medications aren’t working. and let’s face it, in the last couple of years, they sure haven’t been. as soon as he started listing all of the meds i’ve been on, i knew he was going to mention it. that must have been when i laughed. this is nothing to laugh about, but i couldn’t help it. the first thing that popped into my head was the Ramones song, “Gimme Shock Treatment.” hey, at least i laughed.
oh, yes. i forgot to mention this a while ago, but he, along with my therapist, think it’s a good idea for me to get into a DBT program. nothing intensive, since i no longer fit enough DSM-IV criteria to still be considered borderline, just something like once a week. i had mentioned that to our couples counselor (who we see tonight) and she said that everyone should get DBT, not just borderlines. so that’s something to look into.
OMG, that’s exactly what I thought in my mind when I read the wikipedia definition: “she said that everyone should get DBT, not just borderlines”, bwahaha. Aw, that is so good! I hope you do this, because I think it will help you a lot… it looks very promising.
DBT does sound like something everybody should have, especially those of us with a mental illness. Have they checked to see if you need one of those lamps that provide you with UVB rays? (I think it’s UVB)
It’s good that you’re going to your counselling appts.
Why is it that the only thing I can think of when someone says electro-shock is that early episode of the Simpsons where they all go in for family couseling and end up in those shock chairs chocking the bejeesus out of each other…
See, electro shock is funny.
I know how it is. Even when I am not depressed I have no energy. Maybe you can not have energy if you are not depressed and it’s just part of being bipolar?
I have heard some horror stories about electric shock therapy. Mostly from the people in the hospital with me. I haven’t really done much research on it though.
DBT is very well thought of at my agency. It can only do good, I believe. And we’ve also seen people respond very well to ECT. I think it is delivered in a less violent way than the way we think of it. Still, I can well imagine electing to avoid it. And personally, I think you are terrific for being so pro-active.