heh. today i was supposed to start working out with Brian at his ?ber yuppie health club. i haven’t been to yoga in almost two months and have come to the conclusion that it–it’s not that it isn’t for me, it’s just that the class i go to is composed mainly of people older than my own parents. i think that’s great, but it would be nice if there were people there my own age. not only that, every time i’m in class, it makes me itch to go back to training in martial arts, which i still want to do, just not at this time.
anyway, the pdoc has told me time and time again that studying martial arts alone isn’t going to help me lose weight. i need to work out. when he said that to me back in October, he said that by the time of my next appointment he wants me to have joined a health club. instead i started yoga, and he was fine with that.
obviously it isn’t working out. Brian and i decided to work out together so that we’ll be doing something together, and because i’m more likely to go with someone i know. we planned to go this morning, but i let too many things get in the way of my going. knowing myself, it’s better if i just wake up and get out the door. that didn’t happen. then i had too much “sitting around” time and subconsciously talked myself out of going. the rest of the day didn’t go so well–i’m still in my pj’s and it’s 10:30 p.m.!
for tomorrow we plan to either get up and get out, or i will get straight into the shower. if we do the latter then we’ll just work out on Monday.
i’m not doing martial arts for a while because it will cost too much to do that and join the health club. i’d like to go back, yes, but i’m still considering studying kendo. if i do, the cost of doing that and going to the health club will still be cheaper than either martial arts or yoga.
See more progress on: lose 20 lbs
by SUSAN JEFFERS
the couples counselor suggested this for me because anxiety holds me back from doing all kinds of things, including stuff with
Brian, like volunteering, meeting new people, stuff like that?social activities.
do not fire your gun on New Year’s Eve.
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remember this scene? i’ll help you out. it’s during the Trench Run when Vader calls on 2 of his cronies to help him chase down Luke. however, i don’t recall a giant space cat flying along with them. Angelo is our naughtiest cat and the only one who gets timeouts.
those are LEGO TIEs–2 fighters and Vader’s TIE Advanced from the TIE Collection set. it includes a TIE/d, piloted by a funky looking droid, that i haven’t yet put together. nor do i remember ever seeing one. all in all i have 4 TIE fighters, which is almost half a squadron. heehee.
just below the galaxy far, far away you can sort of make out the Chamber of Secrets. if you look closely (please don’t click to enlarge because it’s so awfully blurry), you’ll see that one of the turrets is set at an angle from when Hee Seop reached down and batted it. i didn’t bother fixing it because he’ll only do it again. vandal.
see more pet pics at this week’s Friday Ark.
yesterday, it seems, was Drive Like an Asshole Day. i could not believe the asshole drivers i came across as i drove around town running errands. i meant to blog about it yesterday, but i was too worked up (well, other anxiety-provoking things happened, too, like spilling chili on one of my favorite, predominantly white shirts because i had to eat it in a parking lot; a stupid, no-name radio jock disparaging a bipolar singer of a band i don’t even like on the air; and other stuff, blah blah blah). in fact, i was still so preoccupied by yesterday’s events that when i showered this morning i used conditioner on my face instead of exfoliator. heehee.
i was driving south on Clark Street when up ahead i saw 2 cars in reverse, about to parallel park. so i started driving around them, when this truck behind me did the same thing and tried to pass me. Clark is a 2-lane street and although you can pass, there was no need. traffic was light. and what kind of asshole passes a driver who’s passing another car, anyway?
meanwhile, a middle-aged lady with big, brassy hair was jaywalking. i honked at her, hoping she’d finish crossing quickly so i could hurry up and pass the 2 parking cars. instead, she stops in her tracks staring at the asshole driver, her chin grazing the ground. so i honk louder and even though my windows are shut, yell, “move, lady!” like that would help. since she didn’t, i slowed down and took the opportunity to honk some more, looked in Asshole Driver #1’s direction and yelled, “asshole!” believe me, Chicago drivers can read other drivers’ lips because they’re usually yelling “asshole!” or “fucking bitch!”.
Asshole Driver #1 passes me and of all things–he’s driving a frickin’ Brown Elephant truck! i’ll schedule a pick-up all right, pick this up, motherfucker. *gives the finger*
not 5 minutes later, i’m approaching a stoplight and would have been say, the 5th car back. the van in front of me was flashing hazards but wasn’t double parked, so i drive around it. now i’m in the left-turn lane, but since the van was broken down or whatever, i would just get back in front of it. or so i thought. Asshole Driver #2’s vehicle worked just fine.
when the light turned green, i was stuck in the turn lane because Asshole Driver #3 who was immediately behind Asshole Driver #2 kept going. hey, asshole–keeping the tags on your winter hat has been out of style for years. moron. luckily, the driver behind him waved me in. so what did i do, i gave him The Wave back. i mean, that’s what you do when someone lets you ahead of them.
on my way back north, i’m on Broadway just past Diversey. at a stoplight there was a parked Jeep Cherokee with its signal on. the car in front of me wasn’t going to let them in, but i decided to since another driver did something nice for me earlier. besides, they had the signal on. if they didn’t, they could fucking forget about it. the guy finishes merging into traffic.
i’m waiting, waiting. no Wave. what the fuck? i let you in when the car in front of me wasn’t planning to and you don’t give me The Wave? i saw the sticker on their back window. Notre Dame. that said it all. go Bucks!
by Kevin J. Anderson
Fall of the Sith Empire is the conclusion to The Golden Age of the Sith (read my review here), and tells the tale of the Great Hyperspace War when the Sith, led by Naga Sadow, launched a 2-prong attack on the Republic. Gav Daragon, now Sadow’s student of Sith arts, commands the flagship on its way to attack the Koros system while another fleet attacks Coruscant.
i would have liked this story better if Gav wasn’t such an idiot. Sadow didn’t need to seduce Gav to the dark side; all he had to do was trick him because Gav was too stupid to figure out what was going on. even when he realizes he’s been tricked one too many times and is determined not to let it happen again, he falls for yet another trick. he’s as dumb as Billy Budd–more so. Billy Budd, at least, brought destruction only upon himself and Claggert, not the entire galaxy. (interestingly, Terrence Stamp played Billy Budd in the 1962 movie; he also played Supreme Chancellor Finis Valorum in Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace.)
the only cool thing about Fall of the Sith Empire is that the cover of each issue, when placed side by side, form a mural. i don’t know if the TPB contains the cover art, however.
in other Star Wars book news, i just got the latest book today:
The Swarm War, which is the third book in the Dark Nest Trilogy. and i finally found a copy of
Star Wars: Jedi–Mace Windu, a comic that i knew i should have bought last summer but didn’t.
although we agreed not to exchange gifts (because we get each other stuff all the time and because we have each other–go ahead, roll your eyes), Brian cheated and got me 3 Star Wars LEGO sets: 2 that i didn’t have and one that i already had, but not really one that i’d want a duplicate set of. of course, i’m not complaining. 
i was really excited about that. then, when i went on LEGO.com i found that they’ve re-released some of the “classic” sets, such as the A-wing, B-wing, and dan, if you’re reading this–the Slave I, which now includes a Dengar minifig–how cool is that?
the original A-wing set is $30 used/$33 minimum new; the B-wing is about $50 used/$80 minimum new. the re-released sets are $16 and $35 respectively and are nicer in terms of brick color and design. the only one more expensive is the new Slave I; the original has 162 pieces, whereas the new one has 537.
one day, the Barb Natividad Museum of LEGO Star Wars Vehicles will be complete!
we were supposed to visit Brian’s family in Iowa for Christmas on the 23rd, but we weren’t feeling good enough to make the road trip. besides that, we couldn’t get a catsitter. i suppose we could have left the kitties alone overnight, but not really–not these 4. plus with Angelo on a special diet we wouldn’t have been able to just leave dry food out for them. anyway, we wanted to stay more than just one night. i’m hoping we’ll be able to get out there or that they can come visit us soon, especially since the weather is really nice right now (30s, snow melted).
my mom and a group of her friends take turns doing Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s, but we didn’t make it for that, either. it was out in the ‘burbs, but there would have been a lot of kids there and we didn’t want to pass on whatever we have. her condo will be ready for her to move into on the 28th, so she’ll have Brian and me and my sister and her fiance over for a late tayo tayo lang (”just us”, as in, just the immediate family) Christmas.
we did talk to all of our relatives in Iowa, here, Texas, and Las Vegas, so that was nice. as usual, my extended family in Vegas asked when we would be out there next, but Brian doesn’t have much vacation time yet and anyway, we just don’t have the cash. but we’ll be out there in June for my sister’s wedding.
though we couldn’t be with our families, Brian and i still had a great day. we–ok, he–made green bean casserole with fresh green beans. we had that with ham, stuffing (which he can’t seem to go without even when there’s no turkey!), corn, and apple pie for dessert. we fell asleep, woke up in time to watch the Bears game, played some video games, and just hung out.
instead of actually getting the cats anything, since they never seem to use/play with furniture/toys we get them (see here), i put one of their old balls inside an empty tissue box. it was a hit!!! it’s still driving them mad a day later, and Basil even got his head stuck inside the box. fortunately, he was able to remove it on his own a few seconds later. unfortunately, we were unable to take a picture.
i hope all of you had a great holiday, no matter which one you celebrated!
Hopper’s about to open a present that it turns out she would never play with. like last week’s picture, this one is from Christmas 2000. see more pet pics at this week’s Friday Ark.
this particular depressive episode as i’ve mentioned, isn’t one where i’m weepy, feel despondent, suicidal, hopeless, etc., so i thought that it was affecting me only physically (lack of energy) and not emotionally. i also mentioned, however, that things i normally find interesting or fun, aren’t interesting or fun even when i do them. when i told the pdoc this today, he said that the depression is affecting me emotionally, then.
oh, ok. well, i’m still not good at identifying emotions except for the extreme ones. anyway, on the way home, i remembered there was a word that described this state: anhedonia.
the pdoc doesn’t thing ECT will help. in the two weeks before i see him again, he wants me to come up with activities that will get me outside the house, in order to help structure my day and keep me busy. “it doesn’t have to be ambitious,” he said.
i would be lying if i said i wasn’t disappointed that we weren’t going to do ECT–i want this to be over with. i want to feel interested in things again and have fun again. instead, i’ve been given an assignment i don’t completely understand. oh, and a 5mg increase in Ritalin.
i think he’s hoping that the increase in energy that the Ritalin is giving me will get me out and about and doing things more, and by actually doing things, become interested in stuff again. but it isn’t that i’m not interested in things; the things that i am interested in, don’t hold that much interest right now. if that makes any sense.
by the way, i’ve added a plugin that allows readers to be notified by e-mail when someone replies to their comments. i tried testing it out to see if it works, and i think it does, but i’d really appreciate it if you guys would let me know. 
