Depressive Symptoms

anyone who’s ever read a brochure on depression knows that many of the symptoms are contradictory:

• sleeps too much; sleeps little
• eats more than usual; no appetite
• weight gain; weight loss

and so on. but for people who suffer from depression, it’s important to know what your own symptoms are so you can nip it in the bud.

regular readers know that i’ve been tired more than usual for the past two or three weeks now, and have been sleeping more than i need to. the doctor thinks it’s stress, and perhaps it is: finances, the holidays–nothing more stressful than people who don’t have a mood disorder, certainly. although i have issues that bum me out, they’re nothing to lose hope over. that’s how i know it’s depression.

a lot of people think that people suffering from depression cry all the time and are suicidal. sure, some are, but that’s not true of all of us. what’s important is to be able to recognize your own symptoms, and they can differ from episode to episode. what cinched it for me this time around is that until yesterday, i hadn’t bathed in a week. that certainly isn’t pretty, but it is what it is, and what it is is depression.

when i don’t care about my appearance, it’s depression. when i don’t want to do things i normally like to do, it’s depression. when every little thing like getting a Coke from the fridge or just getting up to go to the bathroom seems like, not just a complete chore but an ordeal, it’s depression.

my next pdoc appointment isn’t for another couple of weeks, but i’m going to call tomorrow to see if he can see me sooner. my meds need adjusting, i’m thinking.