Lifestyle Changes

i am sick of having to make lifestyle changes. so many have been recommended to me in the past four or five months that i haven’t completed even one of them.

first, my pdoc said that i should cap off my daily calorie intake at 1800 if i want to lose the 30 lbs. of Lamictal weight. i lost ten as soon as i stopped taking it, but have gained about seven back.

for the past several months i’ve been trying to wean caffeine completely from my diet, which my pdoc also wants me to do. i haven’t, but i’ve cut down substantially. this is supposed to help my insomnia and anxiety.

the chiro suggested that i go on a gluten- and dairy-free diet to see if it relieves allergy symptoms. he also put me on all kinds of dietary supplements (just my luck to get a chiropractor who also works on nutrition). he believes that lower back pain can be caused by a poor diet.

i’ve been drinking this nasty protein shake he had me buy, for about two months now. it’s supposed to detoxify my liver from the hordes of medications i’ve been on in the past ten years. the chiro incorporates aspects of Eastern medicine and that holistic thing, and based on a test he does on some pressure point, my liver function has improved. granted, my back pain has diminished quite a bit since i’ve been seeing him, and my body is finally relaxing enough so that the adjustments actually happen. that’s just the beginning, and i’m not even going to go into the rest of the dietary supplements right now.

today, i finally made it to the allergist, who the ENT wanted me to see back in like, March. they did one of those tests where they place columns of various allergens up and down your forearms. guess what i’m allergic to the most? cats!

she sent me home with all sorts of instructions on what to do with bedding and the rest of my living environment. i’m supposed to go back next week to test for foods, and she wants me to tell her what i’ve changed. she also said that i can’t have four cats.

my day already started out pretty crappy, and it’s a miracle that i didn’t have an anxiety attack before i even got there this morning. it’s a miracle i didn’t have one afterwards, but i was deeply distressed. i found myself thinking about which cat we’d have to give up as i drove home.

fortunately, i managed to catch Brian in between meetings and he talked some sense into me–we’re not getting rid of any of the cats. but then i feel like, well, why bother going to the allergist if i’m a non-compliant patient? it would be like continuing to see the pdoc even if i didn’t take any of my meds, wouldn’t it?

the allergist said that i presented with late-phase allergy symptoms, which is why i no longer feel seasonal allergies or am bothered when the cats are near me; it isn’t that i’ve developed a tolerance to the allergens–i’ve grown accustomed to feeling congested. living the way i do will cause chronic sinusitis, such as i already have. polyps can form in my sinuses–which they have in the past–and i’ll constantly be on meds and having surgery or whatnot. i don’t want that. but i also don’t want to get rid of any of the cats.

part of me wants to say, fuck it all to hell. i’m going to eat whatever the hell i want and live the way i want. i stopped using drugs 12 years ago, i rarely drink any more (less than once a year), and i quit smoking seven years ago! that’s not enough, apparently. now, they want more. i am so fucking sick of doctors.