how fucked up is it when a frickin’ protein shake is what keeps me from getting out of bed? well, that’s what happened today, though i did get up after noon.
my sleep schedule has been completely screwed up, so of course i didn’t get up in time to go to martial arts. even if i had, i probably wouldn’t have made it anyway, because to my thinking, the longer i stayed in bed, the longer i could delay having to drink that protein shake.
at my chiropractor appointment yesterday, i somehow let him talk me into getting another tub of protein shake mix. originally, i was only supposed to finish 1 tub. then, i ended up getting a second tub because my insurance pays for supplements. if i thought the first mix tasted nasty, omg. the second one i bought, which was a different type, was a million, zillion times worse. so yesterday, i ended up buying another tub of the original stuff.
i’ve been having a hard enough time getting out of bed as it is, and my therapist identified the reason correctly: i’m avoiding something. today it was the shake. i know it sounds silly, but there was all of this anxiety wrapped up with it. with Brian’s reassurance, i ended up not drinking it. he reminded me that my therapist suggested i work on only one change at a time, after all.
in addition, my allergies were really bad when i woke up. gee, it’s a good thing i’m in the late stages of allergy symptoms or whatever imagine how much more awful i would have felt if the allergens affected me normally.
anyway, i had the worst headache, i was still very sleepy, and felt all around run down. not only did i not make it to martial arts, i didn’t make it to my therapist appointment, either. well, at least i called and got to talk to her for a bit. she reminded me about the one change at a time thing, and we rescheduled for my regular Friday time next week.