Aches, Pains, Routines

yesterday was a complete waste of a day. if i had any inkling whatsoever that i’d make it to martial arts, that was completely shattered when i woke up just in time for class to begin. so much for that. because i woke up so late (11:30am), i felt like i did absolutely nothing because i just couldn’t get moving. i’ve had slow starts for the last several days, and by the time i finally get moving, it’s like 5pm, so i feel like the day’s basically over and why bother?

i’m beating myself up, though, because i felt like complete and utter shit yesterday because of my damn sinuses. i had this headache that hurt on the right side of my head mostly, and it felt like something was piercing my eyeball. have i had that CT scan yet? no. but i will, because these headaches are getting worse, i think. it’s just that i had to get another set of orders from the chiro who also wants me to have a CT scan and i figured i’d schedule it all for the same day. but see, i lost the original order. anyway, my point is that i didn’t feel good, so it’s ok that i didn’t really do anything.

besides, i did plenty today and on Monday, and today i didn’t even have to follow my Rain Man routine: when my anxiety level is high, my schedule has to be as predictable as possible. weekly appointments are always on the same day at the same time, i have the car on the same days each week, etc. well, today was my day to have the car and go to the chiro. because i was going to have lunch with my sister after my appointment and there’s no way i would have driven downtown, i would end up taking the train anyway, so i told Brian he could use the car if he wanted to.

it was difficult at first, because it was so humid today, and i hate humidity. by the time i got to the el stop, i was all sweaty and uncomfortable and very unhappy. i think if i had been better prepared it would have gone more smoothly. but it all turned out ok in the end. some anxiety, yeah, but no panic attacks or anything like that.