A Few Steps Forward, A Few Steps Back

there’s been plenty to write, but i’m still having trouble actually doing it. it shouldn’t be that hard; it isn’t like anything has to be written with perfect organizational structure. anyway…

Wednesday was a big day. not only did i leave my apartment to see the chiro, i drove to Hyde Park–i’ve never driven there before, or spent any time there, actually–all by myself and didn’t freak out or panic or anything like that. i met with a new friend and hung out at her apartment for a few hours. afterwards, i picked Brian up from the train station and we went to Target where we’ve been meaning to go forever now. the chiro called me on promising to get a blender last week, which i still hadn’t done, so we got one at Target. steps forward.

i didn’t go to martial arts yesterday. i woke up congested and figured it wouldn’t be too smart. our classroom is on the second floor, and even when the AC is on and the fans are running, it’s still hot and stuffy in there. but i feel like i’m never going to get my gold belt. steps back.

went to my therapist appointment today, and she said that i really haven’t slipped backwards or anything by not going to martial arts. however, i still haven’t made an appointment for the CT scan, which i really must do. i just don’t want to deal with it.

i ran all kinds of errands today, and that felt pretty good. it made me feel useful and like i’m contributing something to the household. i’ve also done well with taking over feeding the cats breakfast like i used to, and taking the trash to the dumpster. i realize that this is major progress for me, considering that it was less than 2 months ago that i was barely able to do anything for myself, and too scared to drive, even. but there’s a part of me that feels like it isn’t enough.