Hopper’s Hint #9

to get your human’s attention, squat right in front of him or her and take a dump.

and again, sorry for the late post!

A Reader Writes, but Is Very Wrong

“Pikkelweezel,” an anonymous commenter who left neither an e-mail address nor URL has this to say in response to my post, “More Missed Appointments”:

Quit crying and acting like a complete friggin retard. Are you actually listening to yourself? Theres the god damn door, open it and go outside, quit acting like it’s some big project to walk out the door.

he (or she) was also kind enough to leave a tag on the tagboard to tell me that i am, in fact, a loser because i can’t get out the door. (s/he left a URL there, and when i clicked the link, it was as i expected.) this is exactly the type of ignorance i hope will be eradicated one day. clearly, s/he didn’t read the rest of the posts because if s/he had, in this post s/he would have read that i wrote:

[. . . ] i mean, how hard is it to walk out the fucking door? it isn’t, so why can’t i?

my dad tells me i need to go back to martial arts and just make myself go outside. he means well, but it isn’t that simple. if i could just “snap out of it,” i would. in a second.

i hate being depressed.

when i set out to blog about my experiences dealing with bipolar disorder, i expected to receive these types of comments, but this is the first. it doesn’t bother me personally because i know these people are simply ignorant, but it demonstrates the reality of how much mental illness is still stigmatized in our society. that bothers me.

March SW Trivia Winner!

Congratulations to Ratty for winning the Star Wars Daily Trivia Tourament for March!!!! You are now in the Hall of Fame! Stop by her blog and say hello!

The April tournament has commenced. I’m also now able to write quizzes of my own, so some of the questions you get may be from one of mine. Now, what was Jabba’s last meal before leaving for the Great Pit of Carkoon…

Living with Bengals

say hello to our new friends, Laszlo and Leela. Laszlo is a regular ol’ black cat and Leela is a beautiful Bengal! stop by Living with Bengals. you’ll be glad you did. =^.^=

More Missed Appointments

well, i didn’t make it to the chiropractor on Saturday. and once again, i stayed indoors for the entire weekend. what am i talking about? i stay inside every single day, just about. it was really nice out, too.

i didn’t go to PHP today. Brian and his co-workers were going to have lunch with their boss because she’s leaving the company. that meant that i would have had to eat lunch by myself or with the other patients. all i can say is that there was much more camaraderie among the patients at the PHP i went to last year. (i realize that i still haven’t written about what upset me so much last Thursday–it was a new patient who started on the second full day that i went. i’m still trying to process it.) anyhow, i was very anxious about the lunch situation. my solution? stay home.

tomorrow i’m for sure going to go. i know this is supposed to help me. i finally got in touch with my therapist today and she thinks it would be a good jumping off point for me to start doing things again. i should be in bed now, of course, since it’s after 2am, but i’m not sleepy. if i have to, i’ll just roll out of bed, thrown on some clothes and head out the door in the morning.

Which Star Wars Character Are You?

Chicago Living Tip No. 35

sorry for the late post.  and now…

before driving in Chicago, familiarize yourself with the names of the expressways and tollways.  they are referred to by name, not number.  today, i bring you this handy dandy conversion chart so you, too, can make sense of traffic reports as you’re driving:

these are relatively easy to remember because most of their names describe their routes.  where it gets tricky, however, is with Interstates 90 and 94, both of which change names repeatedly in Chicagoland.

and finally…

so, did you get all that?  good.

research compiled by Brian, my blogless husband

Too Many Feelings, Too Many Doctors

something happened in PHP yesterday that really upset me–made me angry, frustrated, felt like i’d been stepped on. mostly angry. ok, totally fucking pissed. so pissed, in fact, that all day i’ve been trying to figure out how to approach it in an entry, but i can’t. i think i’m too mad to write about it, and my concentration still isn’t where it should be in terms of being able to write anything that requires any sort of organization, let alone focus. i’ll leave it at that for now.

i didn’t go to PHP today, but it had nothing to do with what happened. rather, it has everything to do with being tired of going from one specialist to another to another.

Brian and i went straight to my ENT appointment after PHP yesterday. get this–the doctor wants me to get another CT scan of my sinuses so they can figure out why they’re still bothering me. wonderful. not only that, he prescribed a second nasal spray! having to use a nasal spray is bad enough, but now i have to use two different kinds. he also wants me to make an appointment with an allergist. actually, he wanted me to do that several years ago; i just never did. then, i go back to the ENT in a month.

tomorrow, i have my chiro appointment. next week i’m back at the pdoc’s. i’m sure i’ll be at the chiro’s again next week, as well. i have yet to see my therapist. it’s like the only places that i need to be are health related. it seems like i’m very unhealthy, but i’m not. that’s what’s so frustrating. i’m physically healthy except for the Lamictal weight, which i’m dropping. and my sinuses, i guess, but now that the headaches have gone away, they haven’t been bothering me.

it’s just too much.

Real Pet with Neopet