Doctor, Doctor

i’m sorry that i haven’t had a chance to thank everyone individually for your comments and/or e-mails, so i’ll have to thank you publicly. thanks! i know it sounds cliche, but the support means a lot to me. if i haven’t been commenting on your blogs lately, i apologize. it’s just sometimes very hard to write in my own blogs even though there’s so much on my mind that i need to get out.

as for that idiot who left the stupid comment–water under the bridge. it’s just sad that in this day and age, there are still people who have that attitude towards mental illness. why can’t they create educational programs about mental illness like they do for other social issues?

saw the pdoc on Thursday. he decreased my Wellbutrin with the hope of decreasing my agitation and irritability. he also added Topamax, so i’m now back on a mood stabilizer. or i will be once we pick it up from Walgreens. i’ve heard that Topamax helps you lose weight, so i’m keeping my fingers crossed. i haven’t lost any more, but i haven’t gained any either, so that’s good. ok, a pound, but that doesn’t really count.

i’ve still been terrible about keeping up with my FitDay Journal. oh, well. i’m not going to beat myself up over it.

on Friday, i went to the chiro, who now has me on a gluten-free diet, but i’m not sure why. he talks really fast, so it’s hard to keep up with him sometimes, and then i forget to ask questions. so today i had my first soy latte. it wasn’t disgusting, but it wasn’t great, either. i think it’s just a taste that i need to get used to.

he also noticed that my skin is clearing. he said something like, “oh, did you have an extraction?” and i was like, “oh my God–how did you know?” i had never heard the term “extraction” used in that context, and i took it to mean a fancy term for popping zits. he said that because the pimples were dark as opposed to angry red, it meant that they were healing (and/or he’s had “extractions” himself and knows this from experience).

actually, after i saw the pdoc, i went to the salon to get my hair trimmed and a facial. i just couldn’t stand it anymore. i burst into sobs in the pdoc’s office because of the way my skin looks. i’m not vain; it’s that awful and adds to my reluctance to leave the apartment.

i had never had a facial before, and i heard that they’re relaxing. well, not if you get a deep cleansing facial. let’s just say it answered my question as to why, on the questionnaire i filled out for the esthetician, they ask about your threshold for pain. my face actually looked worse immediately afterwards, but today it looks better and i can tell that it’s healing. unfortunately, she (the esthetician) thinks i should see a dermatologist anyway, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid–another doctor. apparently, there are areas where blood remains under the skin and can’t drain. wonderful.

both my therapist and pdoc want me to return to PHP for two weeks, so i’ll head back Monday or Tuesday. i just remembered that i still haven’t mentioned what pissed me off the last time i was there. i will, though, i promise. stay tuned. heehee.