Hopper’s Hint #11

cats of quality don’t eat trash.

Pdoc Visit

saw my pdoc yesterday. he didn’t make any changes to my meds; he wants me to continue going to PHP until the therapists feel i’m ready to move on; and i see him again in three weeks. i haven’t lost any more weight, but i haven’t gained any, either. i’ve totally slacked off keeping track of what i eat, and he wants me to get back to doing that again. i just wish that the Topamax worked out so i could lose weight quicker/easier.

my sleep schedule is still messed up, and i didn’t go to bed until 5:00 a.m. consequently, i didn’t make it to PHP. i was hoping this would be the week that i actually attended all five days, but it isn’t.

in the past week or so my mood has been improving, but today it took a plunge and i feel more depressed again. maybe it’s because i didn’t go to PHP, who knows? more likely, it’s because i’m not on a mood stabilizer, and i’m afraid that the pdoc will want to put me back on one again. i don’t mind taking one, but i don’t want to risk gaining even more weight, especially because i haven’t completely shed the Lamictal weight.

Star Wars TV Series?!?!

I’m not so sure about this.

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Still Here, Still in PHP

well, i haven’t disappeared off the face of the earth, or at least the blogosphere, and i’m still in PHP. it’s helping, i think, and so is the warmer weather.

for the first time ever, i stopped taking a medication without notifying my pdoc. here’s my excuse: he was out of town this past weekend, and i didn’t know how to get in touch with my pdoc at the hospital where i go to PHP. lame, i know, but the Topamax made just about everything i ate taste bad. no wonder people supposedly lose weight while on it.

also, it messed with my digestive system, although that could have been the soy milk i started drinking in my lattes because of that gluten-/dairy-free diet the chiro has me on. by the end of last week, i’d had enough and came to the conclusion that i don’t like soy lattes. besides, the nurse at PHP recommended that i not try to completely change my diet overnight. fine with me.

i told the PHP pdoc on Tuesday (i skipped on Monday) that i stopped taking it and also called my regular pdoc’s office and left a message, though i have yet to hear back from him. anyway, i’m not sure i was even taking it long enough for it to have any therapeutic effect.

i’m still missing some of my medical appointments as well as a day or so of PHP a week, but i’m working on it. after such a long time of being able to wake up whenever i feel like it and pacing my day the way i want to, it’s hard to have to get up every morning, shower, and head out the door. however, this regular schedule seems to be helping me regulate my sleep schedule, so that’s good.

earlier this week, i walked the three blocks to Walgreens all by myself! it felt really good to finally be able to do that again without having to think twice about it. the weather was perfect, and besides, i had a motivating factor–my sister told me that they sell Neopets trading cards there, so i had to see for myself.

Brian and i have started playing the Neopets TCG (trading card game) and went to a coffee shop Saturday morning to do just that. it was great to do something “normal” for a change, or at least something that had nothing to do with doctors, therapists, etc.

as for the bitch who pissed me off at PHP a couple of weeks ago, well, she had already been discharged by the time i came back. i was disappointed because i wanted to confront her (nicely, of course, and during group) about what she said that set me off. i promised to write what happened, which i did several days ago but just haven’t posted, so i typed it up and you can read it in the link below.

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Just So’s You Know

tomorrow’s Chicago Living Tip will run late–sometime after 8am, but it will post.  i started a partial hospitalization program in the past couple of weeks (long story, if you want all the dirt go here, though that has yet to be updated; and no, i’m not in rehab–been there, done that), which means i no longer have all the time in the world to play video games, read comic books, and surf the Internet.  as a result, all of my blogs are suffering from sorely needed updates.  this is also why i haven’t replied to anyone’s comments regarding the cat killers up north, etc., so i apologize for that.  but hey–who loves you, baby?

Hopper’s Hint #10

if someone or something is in your path, don’t walk around it–walk on top of it.

Chicago Living Tip No. 36

now that Cubs season is upon us, if you own a car, then you must familiarize yourself with the season schedule.  that is, if you’re a north side resident or frequent that area.

if you don’t have a garage space, park your car on the street when you get home from work on Friday, and do not move it until Monday morning.  take the CTA for the rest of the weekend.

games that take place during the week will nearly triple the capacity of el passengers, so either leave work early or stay a little late.  if you think the rush hour cars are packed with bodies, well, that’s nothing compared to baseball season.  i’m thinking of one specific Crosstown Classic, when a man standing next to me had his arm raised to hold onto the pole.  unfortunately, his sweaty, hairy armpit was right in my line of sight/vision.  avoid at all costs.

and remember, the closer you live to Wrigley Field, the more likely it is for some drunken Cubs fan to puke on your lawn, porch, or whatever.

Doctor, Doctor

i’m sorry that i haven’t had a chance to thank everyone individually for your comments and/or e-mails, so i’ll have to thank you publicly. thanks! i know it sounds cliche, but the support means a lot to me. if i haven’t been commenting on your blogs lately, i apologize. it’s just sometimes very hard to write in my own blogs even though there’s so much on my mind that i need to get out.

as for that idiot who left the stupid comment–water under the bridge. it’s just sad that in this day and age, there are still people who have that attitude towards mental illness. why can’t they create educational programs about mental illness like they do for other social issues?

saw the pdoc on Thursday. he decreased my Wellbutrin with the hope of decreasing my agitation and irritability. he also added Topamax, so i’m now back on a mood stabilizer. or i will be once we pick it up from Walgreens. i’ve heard that Topamax helps you lose weight, so i’m keeping my fingers crossed. i haven’t lost any more, but i haven’t gained any either, so that’s good. ok, a pound, but that doesn’t really count.

i’ve still been terrible about keeping up with my FitDay Journal. oh, well. i’m not going to beat myself up over it.

on Friday, i went to the chiro, who now has me on a gluten-free diet, but i’m not sure why. he talks really fast, so it’s hard to keep up with him sometimes, and then i forget to ask questions. so today i had my first soy latte. it wasn’t disgusting, but it wasn’t great, either. i think it’s just a taste that i need to get used to.

he also noticed that my skin is clearing. he said something like, “oh, did you have an extraction?” and i was like, “oh my God–how did you know?” i had never heard the term “extraction” used in that context, and i took it to mean a fancy term for popping zits. he said that because the pimples were dark as opposed to angry red, it meant that they were healing (and/or he’s had “extractions” himself and knows this from experience).

actually, after i saw the pdoc, i went to the salon to get my hair trimmed and a facial. i just couldn’t stand it anymore. i burst into sobs in the pdoc’s office because of the way my skin looks. i’m not vain; it’s that awful and adds to my reluctance to leave the apartment.

i had never had a facial before, and i heard that they’re relaxing. well, not if you get a deep cleansing facial. let’s just say it answered my question as to why, on the questionnaire i filled out for the esthetician, they ask about your threshold for pain. my face actually looked worse immediately afterwards, but today it looks better and i can tell that it’s healing. unfortunately, she (the esthetician) thinks i should see a dermatologist anyway, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid–another doctor. apparently, there are areas where blood remains under the skin and can’t drain. wonderful.

both my therapist and pdoc want me to return to PHP for two weeks, so i’ll head back Monday or Tuesday. i just remembered that i still haven’t mentioned what pissed me off the last time i was there. i will, though, i promise. stay tuned. heehee.

An Appeal to Cheeseheads from an F.I.B.: Please Don’t Kill the Cats

about a month ago, i wrote about the proposal in Wisconsin that would allow hunters to kill "free roaming" cats.  the term "free roaming," i believe, has yet to be defined in this particular context.  house cats who are allowed outside, with or without a collar, are free roaming.  however, it’s the wild, feral cats that the proposal’s writers plan to target.  while no longer domesticated, feral cats are also free-roaming and difficult to distinguish from someone’s pet cat.  according to the article below, "A wild or feral cat is typically defined as one with no identification collar and does not show friendly behavior" (McCormick).  and what if you encounter a cat without a collar who just happens to be mean but belongs to somebody?  who would notify the family that their beloved cat was accidentally shot?  the DNR, or the hunters?  or would they even bother?

if you live in Wisconsin, please vote against this proposal.

read the latest article on this issue below.

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Hopper’s Laws Are Now Hopper’s Hints

the new title seems more appropriate.