cats of quality don’t eat trash.

saw my pdoc yesterday. he didn’t make any changes to my meds; he wants me to continue going to PHP until the therapists feel i’m ready to move on; and i see him again in three weeks. i haven’t lost any more weight, but i haven’t gained any, either. i’ve totally slacked off keeping track of what i eat, and he wants me to get back to doing that again. i just wish that the Topamax worked out so i could lose weight quicker/easier.

my sleep schedule is still messed up, and i didn’t go to bed until 5:00 a.m. consequently, i didn’t make it to PHP. i was hoping this would be the week that i actually attended all five days, but it isn’t.

in the past week or so my mood has been improving, but today it took a plunge and i feel more depressed again. maybe it’s because i didn’t go to PHP, who knows? more likely, it’s because i’m not on a mood stabilizer, and i’m afraid that the pdoc will want to put me back on one again. i don’t mind taking one, but i don’t want to risk gaining even more weight, especially because i haven’t completely shed the Lamictal weight.

I’m not so sure about this.

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well, i haven’t disappeared off the face of the earth, or at least the blogosphere, and i’m still in PHP. it’s helping, i think, and so is the warmer weather.

for the first time ever, i stopped taking a medication without notifying my pdoc. here’s my excuse: he was out of town this past weekend, and i didn’t know how to get in touch with my pdoc at the hospital where i go to PHP. lame, i know, but the Topamax made just about everything i ate taste bad. no wonder people supposedly lose weight while on it.

also, it messed with my digestive system, although that could have been the soy milk i started drinking in my lattes because of that gluten-/dairy-free diet the chiro has me on. by the end of last week, i’d had enough and came to the conclusion that i don’t like soy lattes. besides, the nurse at PHP recommended that i not try to completely change my diet overnight. fine with me.

i told the PHP pdoc on Tuesday (i skipped on Monday) that i stopped taking it and also called my regular pdoc’s office and left a message, though i have yet to hear back from him. anyway, i’m not sure i was even taking it long enough for it to have any therapeutic effect.

i’m still missing some of my medical appointments as well as a day or so of PHP a week, but i’m working on it. after such a long time of being able to wake up whenever i feel like it and pacing my day the way i want to, it’s hard to have to get up every morning, shower, and head out the door. however, this regular schedule seems to be helping me regulate my sleep schedule, so that’s good.

earlier this week, i walked the three blocks to Walgreens all by myself! it felt really good to finally be able to do that again without having to think twice about it. the weather was perfect, and besides, i had a motivating factor–my sister told me that they sell Neopets trading cards there, so i had to see for myself.

Brian and i have started playing the Neopets TCG (trading card game) and went to a coffee shop Saturday morning to do just that. it was great to do something “normal” for a change, or at least something that had nothing to do with doctors, therapists, etc.

as for the bitch who pissed me off at PHP a couple of weeks ago, well, she had already been discharged by the time i came back. i was disappointed because i wanted to confront her (nicely, of course, and during group) about what she said that set me off. i promised to write what happened, which i did several days ago but just haven’t posted, so i typed it up and you can read it in the link below.

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tomorrow’s Chicago Living Tip will run late–sometime after 8am, but it will post.  i started a partial hospitalization program in the past couple of weeks (long story, if you want all the dirt go here, though that has yet to be updated; and no, i’m not in rehab–been there, done that), which means i no longer have all the time in the world to play video games, read comic books, and surf the Internet.  as a result, all of my blogs are suffering from sorely needed updates.  this is also why i haven’t replied to anyone’s comments regarding the cat killers up north, etc., so i apologize for that.  but hey–who loves you, baby?