Cabin Fever, Lack of Concentration, Hawt Video Game Characters & Fangirldom

i didn’t go to martial arts yesterday, and for a while i thought i was making up excuses. but the fact of the matter is, i was in too much pain. my sinuses were absolutely killing me. the pressure was so bad it felt like someone was trying to crush my face, their palms on my forehead and on the bridge of my nose.

it made me feel drowsy and groggy, though i didn’t get much sleep anyway. maybe because i could feel the pressure on my eyeballs, so my eyelids felt really heavy.

one of the meds the ENT prescribed is prednisolone, and that helped almost immediately, which is the least you can expect from a steroid. i can’t tell if my breathing has improved because i was basically sitting on my ass all day, so i didn’t exactly raise my heartrate.

Brian was late for work (a result of his own depression), so i told him to take the car. later, i regretted it because i was dying to go outside. i wanted to go somewhere, but i wanted to drive instead of walk. it’s often easier for me to push myself to get out if i have the car.i didn’t know where i’d go, exactly, because i didn’t feel like going to a coffee shop. oh, i suppose i wanted to stop by the comic book store. i normally make a weekly pilgrimage there to pick up whatever new comics/manga they’re holding for me. i haven’t been there in a while, so i know there’s a bunch of stuff in my box. i don’t need to go there, because i’m still trying to catch up reading my recent issues, but at least it was something to do. plus, because i’m a regular, i know most of the staff and hang out for a bit just shooting the shit, connecting with people face to face instead of online.

there were other things i wanted to do–put together my hailfire droid, which i’ve been wanting to do for some time now. i originally got into LEGOs when, during a manic phase, i had such a hard time concentrating that i couldn’t even flip through a magazine. Brian brought home a small LEGO set, and when i finished putting it together, i at least had a small sense of accomplishment. it helped that the instructions didn’t have words–just pictures, which was easier for me to focus on.

the lack of concentration is annoying and frustrating, as is the depression. i’ve been devouring Star Wars books for the past year or so–i’m determined to read every single thing in the Expanded Universe to become a self-proclaimed Republic historian. heh. anyway, i have a few books here, but i can’t concentrate on them.

oh, and i can’t forget this–i’ve had fantasies of Carth Onasi getting it on with my PC (playable character) from either KotOR or KotOR II. that’s what happens when you aren’t getting any! i guess. maybe i’m crazy for thinking this, but i don’t think i’m the only one who has a “crush” on a video game character. i mean, i know there’s plenty of guys out there who lust after female characters. of course, they’re probably all geeks, so what does that say about me?