BrainStorm #91: Achievements?

BrainStorm

The year 2004 is almost over and the holidays are upon us. It’s time, whether we like it or not, to gather our thoughts and think about our life’s journey’s. Have you accomplished what you set out to accomplish for this year? Have there been any significant changes in your life this year? Where would you like to see yourself in a year from now? Write about as much as you want just have fun with this!

the only goal i had this year was to recover fully from my depressive episode.  although it’s due to a chemical imbalance that can only be controlled by meds, i have taken whatever steps that i can do to facilitate my recovery.  the 2 biggest things i’ve done in this regard are taking up martial arts and finally starting to write again.

i joined a local martial arts academy in January, after i was hospitalized for anxiety.  it was a lot of fun but unfortunately, i was back in the hospital 2 weeks later.  shortly after i was discharged i went back but attended just a few classes–5 altogether since i started.

the depression and anxiety grew worse.  i was in a partial hospitalization program (PHP) for a month, during which the doctors put me on medication other than what i was taking previously.  after PHP i saw and still see a therapist twice a week and a psychiatrist every 2 weeks for medication management.

in August the doctor switched my mood stabilizer from Tegretol to Lamictal, which gradually but steadily improved my mood.  i turned 35 just a few weeks before and returned to the martial arts academy.

i barely lasted 15 minutes my first time back, but i made myself stay the whole hour to observe.  i was determined to keep going and have been going regularly ever since.  that first day i showed up was such a huge accomplishment for me, even bigger than when i finally moved from being a white belt to a yellow belt.  i mean, i wouldn’t leave the apartment for days at a time, not even to walk the 2 flights of stairs to the lobby to check the mail.  now i train 3-4 times a week.

around the same time i began writing again, which i hadn’t done in about a year.  although my concentration in grad school was in poetry, i began experimenting with writing fiction since i was never very good at it.  i wrote 3 chapters of a Star Wars fanfic based on the video game Knights of the Old Republic.  however, i set that aside when i discovered the blogosphere, in which i’m now completely submerged.

my doctor and therapist feel that i’m not ready to go back to work, and that will probably be my goal for next year.