Just now I ran into Bruce from Upstairs. He showed me a parking ticket he got in the mail that says he owes the City $150 for parking illegally near Illinois Masonic, four miles away. Get this–he was out of town the weekend he “got” the ticket, and his car was parked in our neighborhood the entire time.

WTF?

Contesting a ticket in Chicago is a big pain in the ass. You have a week to either pay (in person, through the mail, or online) or check the little box next to the option to contest. If you pick the latter, then you have to show up within the next three weeks, and it’s first come, first serve. Doors open at 8:00 a.m.

If you ignore the ticket altogether, they send you a notice in the mail. If you ignore that one as well, then they come to your house and take all your pets. If you don’t have any, they’ll take your neighbors’ pets.

According to the Department of Revenue‘s Web site, contesting the ticket in person does not increase your chances of winning. What they don’t tell you is that you have no chance of winning. I’m positive, however, that employees and their families aren’t eligible to play, if you know what I mean. And obviously, as in Bruce from Upstairs’s case, no purchase is necessary to win. Pfft. You’re better off playing the lottery.

If, like most people, you aren’t a lucky winner, you have 35 days to appeal the decision, though on the Web site, it doesn’t say whether or not this can be done online or through the mail.

Now, who’s going to go through all that for a $30 meter violation? Or a $50 street cleaning parking violation? A $150 ticket though, that might be a different story. Seriously, you’re better off just paying the damn thing, and the City knows this.

But a “ghost” ticket? (This town has many ghosts, you know.) Even a ghost ticket for say, $30? My initial reaction would be to curse them out, even if they couldn’t hear me. Then I’d contest. If I have no material evidence I’d have to go to court to present my case. I mean, come on, how can you prove that you weren’t actually parked at the meter that you supposedly violated?

So let’s say I show up in court and they decide against me, which they would. I now have a month to appeal. Is it worth it? Is it?

What in the galaxy put the idea in my head that I’d be able to read the EU in chronological order?

I started reading Dark Apprentice then set it down to backtrack and read Dark Empire. I’m so behind.

Moving Day: October 1st is the busiest moving day of the year for whatever reason. Avoid at all costs.

Hopper was my first cat, ever. I hated cats, but the apartment I lived in at the time (and all the others since) didn’t allow dogs, so my then husband convinced me to adopt a cat. She was six months old when she came to live with me and was an only cat for the next seven months.

Obviously I didn’t hate cats as much as I thought because I fell in love with her immediately. She was like a little baby, a cat baby. Then, she surprised me when she started playing fetch!

She had a fur-covered toy called a ferret that looked nothing like a ferret, unless it was one that was headless, tailless, and legless. When she decided it was playtime, she would drop the toy at my feet and look at me expectantly. I’d toss the ferret, she’d chase after it, “kill” it, then bring it back. I repeated as needed.

That was nine years ago. After three additional cats, two moves, a divorce, and two fewer cats (went with the ex), Hopper stopped playing this game.

Today, she inititated it. I rolled up the tin foil wrapping from a piece of pizza and set it on my desk for not even a second, I swear. From her usual perch above the printer, she batted it.

I thought, why not? I tossed it across the kitchen floor. As I expected, she chased after it and “killed” it, then surprised me by bringing it back halfway. I tossed the aluminum ball a few more times before she finally retrieved it and dropped it at my feet just ilke old times.

Then two of the boys woke up and sauntered over to check things out, and I couldn’t get her to play again. I’ll keep trying, though.

I’ll have to expound on these in the future. Notice that they didn’t mention my one-way street navigation tip.

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