My pdoc decided to keep me on Pristiq because I’m doing so well on 50 mg. No more horrible side effects. I’m completely off trazodone and Klonopin, so now I only take Pristiq and Tegretol for the bipolar. It’s been OK, but I have to admit that sometimes it’s really, really hard to fall asleep and sleep well. I’m hoping that in time this will improve. At least I’m no longer tired constantly and in need of naps even if I slept 10 hours the night before.
Amazingly, showering is no longer something I struggle with every day. Even when I don’t feel like doing it, I’m able to without having to force myself and put every ounce of energy I have into making myself do it. It’s nice to have that be “normal.”
I still struggle with leaving the house, though, probably because I don’t have anywhere to go. I’m working on it.
After undergoing many medical tests, my sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Like mental illness, fibromyalgia is invisible and can be just as debilitating.
May 12 has been designated National Fibromyalgia Awareness Day. Please take time to click on the banner above to learn more about this syndrome that affects millions of people between the ages of 20 – 50. Both my sister-in-law and I very much appreciate it. Thank you!
- Pristiq Side Effects: Apparently I was supposed to up my dose to 100 mg after 2 weeks, which I didn’t realize until my pdoc told me. I did, which was a mistake. I went through the side effects all over again and this time they didn’t go away. He said to go back down to 50 mg. The weakness left, but I was still tired and my mood was worse.
- Allergies: I hear they’re really bad this year for everyone. I am now on a 10-day course of prednisone, that’s how bad they are. Brian came home one day and thought someone punched me because one of my eyes was nearly swollen shut! This better help.
- Inexplicable Rashes: And these have nothing to do with my allergies. None of my prescription creams (I’ve had mild eczema in the past) or OTC ointments are helping. Hopefully the prednisone will take care of this, too, but if not, it’s off to a dermatologist for me. This is getting ridiculous; I have a different doctor for different parts of my body. (Ironically, Hopper recently had a similar steroid injection for her allergies!)
Needless to say, I have not been the easiest person to be around and I haven’t wanted to whine about all of this on my blog. Admittedly, as many of you know, I’ve withdrawn from friends and family. I just want all of this to be over with so I can go on with my life.
To combat my impatience and annoyance, I have been reading tons of Star Wars books and losing myself in that universe. I’ve also been watching Law & Order (original, SVU, and Criminal Intent) DVDs. In addition, my mother-in-law has been sending me cards at least once a week to cheer me up. As efficient as e-mail is, it’s really nice to receive something tangible.
I am now, with my pdoc’s approval and supervision, being slowly weaned off all of my psych meds. If I thrived while not on any meds during my senior year of college, well, hopefully I will thrive again, on meds or off. I am no longer on trazodone, a sleep aid I’ve relied on for years. Although I’m not sleeping as soundly, having Angelo snuggle next to me like a stuffed animal helps. 
Although, living in Chicago, the road is full of potholes, rather than bumps. Things are looking up, although my therapist has emphasized the need to be careful and progress at a reasonable pace. Regular readers know that I have a pattern of taking on more than I can handle once I start feeling a tad bit better. Now I’m feeling a lot better so as you can imagine I want to do this, and do that, and do everything!
Saturday started off well. I finally showered and washed my hair, which, after nearly a month, felt really, really good! Especially washing my hair, which was beginning to smell stale. Yeah. Brian suggested going out to someplace other than a doctor’s or therapist’s appointment, so we went to see Shutter Island.
Though I haven’t strictly observed the Lenten fast of having 2 smaller meals and only one full meal except on Sundays, I did give up chocolate. Unfortunately, when we arrived at the theater I completely forgot and ate Junior Mints and peanut M&Ms. On the other hand, abstinence is not observed on Sundays (Feast Days or, as I call them, “cheat” days) and I figured that since I hadn’t used any of my cheat days, I’d be forgiven.
Because I read Shutter Island over a year ago, I knew what to expect from the psychological thriller. Brian had also read it, but we really enjoyed the movie. However, I forgot the very ending and without giving anything away, let’s just say that it was intensely personal. So much so that it triggered a panic attack. I was immobilized, I felt dizzy, nauseous, and started hyperventilating. I became very paranoid with regard to the movie’s ending. Thankfully, this happened at the end, so I wasn’t embarrassed that people could see; they were already leaving. I felt sick all the way home.
In a way, I’m glad this happened. It was a sign that I’m not completely better and that I do have to take it easy. I’ve only been feeling fairly well for about a week and the past few days have been stressful, with Brian out of town. I’m glad to say that I’ve managed on my own, taking care of myself and the cats. And believe me, their diets and meds are pretty complicated and would confuse anyone. I’ve relearned how to make coffee and how to run the dishwasher. I’ve at least left the apartment proper to get the mail. All in all, things are pretty good. I have had the urge to do this and that and everything, and curbing my impulses hasn’t been easy.
by Joe Schreiber
Whenever a new SW book comes out, of course I’m going to buy it and read it, but when it’s written by a first-time SW author, I’m always hesitant. Death Troopers is Joe Schreiber’s first. It starts out great with a nice pace then quickly deteriorates into a story that contains stereotypical horror genre monsters. I really liked the characters and the beginning held so much promise, but then Schreiber introduces well-established SW characters, so it ruins the story’s ending long before it ends. This sci-fi/horror (stereotypical horror, remember) cross genre is incredibly LAME. Big disappointment.
